How to forget the person you love, if you are parted

Contents:

• If you like a married ...
• If he is not worthy of your love

When people feel that they have found the love of a lifetime, but eventually lose it, they fall right into the depths of depression and failed attempts to forget the past love. But there is no point crying over spilled milk - it is because this does not come back to the pitcher! - Just do not help the tears on ex-boyfriend. Clearly, it is very difficult to forget his love. But this does not mean that this is not possible.

How to forget the person you love? Much depends on whether because of what happened parting.

If you like a married ...

One of the reasons why you should give up, even if you still do not break off relations - a family bond, which is a man. It consists, but not with you. If you understand that it is necessary to leave, but did not dare, or perhaps do not want to listen to anyone and continue to love your cute, hoping for the best, we can lead at least eight reasons why you should not continue that relationship.

Eight reasons why a married man should forget

1. He was never in the future will only be with you. A man who would have felt unhappy in marriage, have long gone to his wife. Of course, it inspires your love and care about the novelty of the blood, which he found in a relationship with you. It can even tell you: "I have never felt so happy as you! I am willing to spend a lifetime with you! "But in fact, these words do not mean nothing - he did not undertake any obligation to you saying it. Think about it: if he wants to spend with you all my life, why he again and again in a hurry to his family?
2. The fact that he is cheating his wife, said his inability to deal with unpleasant situations when you need to make an informed decision. This means that it will resort to search detours and if in your relationship with him will appear any problems.
3. Constantly hiding - employment is quite tedious. The need to keep the relationship a secret capable of "attack" your self-esteem; besides, you lose the ability to learn many aspects of happy relationships. Loving people, freely and openly demonstrate their love all over the world, always filled with an inner light of happiness. And each of them can unreservedly proud of who goes through life together.
4. He eats just two of the cake as the British would say. He has a legal marriage, that he does not need to hide and in which he can feel all the joys of life together. There he and extramarital relationships, which helps compensate for all what it lacks in marriage. What a shame to be a woman who loves a married: it gets the best of both relationships and quite happy, and she almost spends all his time alone and waiting for a rare (and not always happy!) Minutes of dialogue.
5. Is it possible to love a man who is so disrespectful to his wife? After all, he's cheating on her, she betrays changes. It is unlikely that such a person can be called decent. And do not believe with all his excuses. It is, of course, lead you a thousand reasons why he can not leave his wife, almost glowing with pride for his "honesty." And it's not just that the reasons for these, as a rule, all far-fetched; It is also the fact that in any case he is cheating and his wife, and also you in the bargain. He gets pleasure from two sources, thus causing suffering and one, and another woman.
6. Whether you like it or not, you become an accomplice of a man who neglects his duty and betrayed the trust of his wife. And that's not to mention the fact that it causes emotional trauma to their children and lose credibility in their eyes. It is difficult to bring up, when you can not see a role model!
7. You can catch the boomerang guilt. Many men (as, indeed, and women) are not able to assume full responsibility for their deceitful actions. That's how people that it is easier to blame someone in your mistakes, you make a well-deserved disgrace. If your man will be caught, so to speak, to act, do not be surprised if he tries to shift the blame is on you. And to prove to anyone then that you did not know that he was still sleeping with his wife and that she was not a bitch who eats eating her Blessed, and quite worthy woman. The man quickly forgive his "prank" and you're in front of people and remains an insidious razluchnitsa who tried to break up the family and take away from his wife and children and support their breadwinner.
8. You save time and miss the opportunity to be happy with another man, and often the ability to have a child. You can wait indefinitely when he breaks the relationship with his wife and tell you at the wedding ceremony, "love" is already lawfully; but the fact that this has not yet happened, eloquently speaks for itself.

Remember, time is too precious to spend it in vain. Have you noticed how quickly the years go, as you become older and older? Even if you are quite comfortable to be a mistress, you should understand that such a relationship with a married man can last for a long time. When the women who were in similar ways, yet dared to break them, they often regret it about the time they spent quite unnecessarily wasted.

If you are aware of all that we have just told us that this alone is capable of becoming a good push to to forget the man, even if you still love. And then it will be easier to launch the plan.

If he is not worthy of your love

There may be other reasons that can serve as an impetus to your parting. Maybe your guy does not pay you enough attention, or mockingly refers to your worldview, or can not indifferent to miss a single skirt, or ... No matter what else, "or". Somehow you broke up, and now you just sit at home alone, unhappy and completely immersed in tears and can not figure out how to forget the guy you love most in the world.

You do not know how to do it? We must begin with, honestly answer the one question: do you really want to forget it and never remember? Anyway, not to remember with so much pain and tears, as it is now. If your answers are incomprehensible, something like "time will tell" or "Well, he can still change, and then everything will be fine", it means that you do not want to part with man forever, and hope for a -That the future with him; then it will be a different story. But if you've decided what you want to forget it, and that with it you will no longer "never-never", then throw it out of my head - and from the heart! - Will help our leaders.

Here's what you need to do is to forget the person you like, in two weeks:

• The first day, the most difficult

This - the Day of the Great Western (but only one day!) Today, you have the right to feel sorry for yourself, crying bitter tears and tell their friends about their miserable share. Yes, now you are all bad. Yes, over your love story and there is nobody to give you flowers and cute souvenirs. And he really was very beautiful (clever, funny ...) Listen to sad songs, watch your favorite movies, put on his sweater, which remained in your home ... and cry, cry, cry! Tears - a protective reaction of the body, which helps get rid of stress and negative emotions.

• Day Two: garbage overboard!

This - the day to get rid of all the things that remind you of him. Collect all his belongings, CDs, books that are still lying around in your cabinets. Do not forget to take his gifts that he brought to you, or just on the occasion of an event. And all this calmly carry the trash! It's a pity, of course, it is difficult to argue. But you want to forget? You want to prove to herself that he was more for you does not mean anything? Then get rid of it all, do not hesitate! And even if it is then asked if he could pick up his scarf, which he had forgotten in your hallway, you honestly tell the guy that you this scarf has long been thrown out. Together with the other things. Let him know that you do not shed tears over these "souvenirs", regretting the past love!

Oh, and most importantly, all joint romantic image also must be destroyed! Check lying around there even one such picture you among the books or other things, and be sure to remove all pictures from your computer to your phone. It may not be easy, but if you really want to start a new life and someday find their true happiness, then destroy the photos you just have to. And it is hardly possible here any other option!

• Day Three: the cleansing of body and soul

Today, be sure to take a bath with aromatic salt or oil. For example, use the following composition: seven drops of rosemary oil and seven pinches of sea salt, add in a bath filled with hot water. Soak in water, trying to relax on the dream of something pleasant. When you come out of the bath and open the cap, observe how the water flows, and imagine that it carries with it all your sadness and grief, floating away with them invisible pipes farther and farther. All! Measures for cleaning completed. From this point you start a new life!

• Day Four: update social circle

It is clear that the general part with all the friends-friends who communicate with your ex, is not necessary. But right now you need to minimize all your random encounters. If you have friends who have not met at the time with your man or intersect with it too seldom, now is the time to begin to communicate primarily with them. So you're one shot kill two birds: firstly, you will minimize the risk of meeting with a former lover, and secondly, you do not have to discuss it with people who do not know him.

Of course, you now better not be one. Socializing with friends will help to distract from the sad thoughts and do not let you feel lonely. Sit with friends in a cafe to talk about plans for the summer, reminiscing about the fun of school or student pranks. We hope your friends have enough sensitivity and tact to try to cheer you up, and not be reminded of past love with questions about the details of your break, or stories about where and with whom they have seen it last week.

It is important to make efforts to create around him a safe and comfortable world - a world full of new interests and new friends who do not know your man in the crowd who did not even know how to spell his name. It will be a world where your ex will not have the right to enter any direct or in a figurative sense - even in your memories. To build around themselves a defensive "fortress", use every opportunity to try something new - scuba diving lessons, a book club, art classes, dance school - so to program their mind and body in the expectation of a new life. Life without him! ..

• Day Five: direct beauty

Perhaps no one needs to tell you how any woman can cheer up a new hairstyle! Sign up to the good master (only it is to good to inept barber does not ruin your already fragile mood!) And feel free to experiment with your appearance. Change it firmly and irrevocably!

• Day Six: Ready, Set, Go!

When you exercise, your body produces endorphins - the real "hubbub of happiness." Winter gives you unlimited possibilities - skating, snowboarding, luge, skiing. In summer you can swim in the open water, ride a bike, play tennis or volleyball ... And if all this not enough for you, then you can do in the gym. The usual shaping choose something interesting, such as yoga or belly dancing.

• The seventh day: eat to live

If your man was a lover of good food, then you nagotavlivaya his delicacies, it is very difficult to resist the temptation to indulge tasty and a favorite. The good news: Now no one will knock you "astray", and you can start to eat healthy food.

• Day Eight: brains

When you broke up with her beloved, the most difficult - is to stop thinking about it. Thoughts of him and climb into your head, and get rid of them there is no way. True? Well, then the only way out - take yourself so that you have no choice of any free moment. So if you still often suffers from the fact that the time off from school or work at low pressure, it is now worth a dip in their duties to the head. Yes, and a couple of new responsibilities is to take on!

• Day Nine: all he hated, now you can do!

Perhaps now your relationship with your ex-boyfriend you perceive almost idyllic, but then you probably were some differences. Maybe your guy did not like the music, you are willing to listen to for hours, or irritating your favorite friend? Whatever it was, but just today you have to devote a whole day that you could not do when the former was still your man.

• Day ten: for those who are still young

If you - the person already quite mature, it will be much easier to find something to do to distract from thoughts about sad love experience (and what you should do in this day). And if you have, for example, a student? You study and began to engage in good faith, and find time for sports; but still an hour or so, when you do not know what to do, and begin to indulge in melancholy. Sometimes? Then look for a job! Many companies will be happy to accept students who can work in two or three hours in the evening, when the permanent staff to their homes. Of course, you earn very little; but the money will not be superfluous for you. By the end of the study you will also be able to boast of the acquired experience!

• Day Eleven: pleasant chores

Diligent exercise and diet yielded the first results? So, it's time to update your wardrobe. Bring your best friend and go shopping!

• Day twelve: indescribable beauty!

If you did everything correctly, you are almost ready to be a big party and show itself in all its glory, and not demonstrate universal sadness. Call your girlfriends and start preparing for the remarkable event. A manicure, a pedicure, a mask for all parts of the body and a stunning makeover. Anything you want!

• Day thirteen: your way out!

The fun and do not forget to glance around, because your real narrowing can occur at any time. Now the main thing - do not miss it!

• Fourteenth Day: a new life, new ideas

Perhaps, at yesterday's party, you were introduced to a young man who showed great interest to you. And maybe still to come, and now you only think about it. A past love thing of the past!

Thus, even if you have lost your love, it does not mean something for you in this life must end. In no case should not be closed in itself, in its closed all personal space. That's the last thing you should do, because this is what will make you feel really miserable. But you can always look around: who knows, maybe you forget ex-boyfriend is to give way to a new feeling that will make you happy for life?

We strongly recommend to read: How to forget a loved a married man

Fear of heights: the causes of acrophobia and ways of getting rid of it

Contents:

• Acrophobia and related fears
• The symptoms of acrophobia
• Reasons for acrophobia and its treatment

Phobia (obsessive fear) - a rather unpleasant condition which can be very difficult to cope on their own. Obsessive fears are different, but today we'll find out what acrophobia - fear of heights - and how it can be overcome.

Acrophobia and related fears

In contrast, specific phobias (such as aerophobia - fear of flying), acrophobia can cause a person to be afraid of different things, one way or another related to his stay at a distance from the earth's surface. Depending on the severity of the phobia, suffering from fear of heights people may be afraid to be on the top floor of the building, or even climb the stairs. Fear of heights can be accompanied by concomitant phobic disorders:

• Illingofobiya

  True vertigo can be a symptom of various diseases. A illingofobiya - a phobia, in which the fear of dizziness can lead to symptoms very similar on him. Fear of heights, too, can cause similar symptoms, but not always at the same vertigo are true.

  In order to clarify the nature of these sensations, is to see a doctor who will prescribe the necessary examination. Most likely, you'll have to pass on the analysis of the blood, as well as to make a computer tomography and magnetic resonance imaging. This survey will help to eliminate (or, conversely, to discover!) The various neurological diseases.

• Batofobiya - fear of heights and depths drops

  Often it is associated with fear of heights. Person exposed to this phobia is not only scary, for example, to climb the hill, but even just by looking at this elevation. I must say that not everyone who overcomes fear of heights, suffer batofobiey; but almost all batofoby afraid of heights.

• Klimakofobiya - obsessive fear of ladders

  It may be associated with batofobiey, except that fear arises only if required to do climbing stairs. If you suffer from this phobia, it is likely you are not too afraid to see with their own eyes even the steep stairs (as opposed to the previous phobia when the mere sight of a hill or a ravine is a comprehensive horror); you will remain calm as long as able to feel safe at the bottom. So klimakofobiya "acts" in tandem with acrophobia, fear of heights.

• Aerophobia - specifically a fear of flying

  Depending on the severity of your fear, you can not be afraid to just fly the plane, but also stay in the airport. And, of course, very often, this phobia is developing along with the fear of heights.

The symptoms of acrophobia

If you have a fear of heights, you will not suffer from vertigo. Instead, you feel a panic attack, once on a given height. Man in this state begins to instinctively look for that would cling to him. He suddenly realizes that does not trust his sense of balance. The first reaction to this feeling becomes a desire to get on all fours, to kneel or else reduce the position of his body and closer to the surface of the support.

Emotional and physical reaction to fear of heights similar to the reaction at any other phobia. Man begins to tremble, his sweat profusely released, begins palpitations; sufferer often begins even cry or scream. Fear paralyzes movement, ideas are confused and it becomes very difficult to think clearly and soberly.

If you are afraid of heights, it is logical to assume that you will also begin to fear situations that might make you a while to carry out high above the ground. For example, you can not enjoy the anticipation of a close holiday because to worry about what would have to live on the top floor of the hotel. You can delay the repair of an apartment or house, fearing to even think about what would have to use the stairs or ladder. You will avoid going to visit a friend, because you can not look like it goes to the balcony. You will give up a lot in this life is not always even aware of the reasons for his behavior.

Any phobia is a risk of limiting full life and normal activities, and it happens because of the fact that the person who is something very afraid, will be avoided at all costs its frightening situation. The danger of acrophobia is that you can really hurt yourself, when will lose the ability to act calmly and deliberately, being on the height and fell under the influence of panic. Therefore, it is extremely important to seek professional help as soon as possible, especially if you regularly come into contact with the height of a part of your life.

Reasons for acrophobia and its treatment

The studies that were carried out repeatedly by scientists to determine the causes of acrophobia, show that fear of heights is not unique to humans, but for all the animals have vision. And in 1960, the famous American scientist and psychologist D.Gibson made experiment with so-called "visual cliff."

The experiment was the fact that a part of the surface on which encourage children to crawl (in experiment alternately participated as human infants and young animals of various species) replaced translucent glass panels, which were at an empty space. Boudreau crawling on the opaque surface, the kids stopped abruptly in front of glass panels, not wanting to move around the height of the empty space. Even the presence of the mothers who encouraged their children did not convince them safe this "journey".

Thus, this phobia is evident partly rooted in our subconscious as an evolutionary survival mechanism. However, most children and adults, just be careful when faced with high, without fear of it at the same time too. Therefore, acrophobia, like all other phobia is a hyper-reaction compared with the conventional reaction of fear. Many experts believe that the reasons for such a hyper-reaction must be sought prior to any particular person falling from above, or nervous behavior of parents who are afraid of heights and gave a similar reaction model to your child.

What treatment involves such a phobia? Cognitive-behavioral therapy is the main option for the treatment of specific obsessive fears. Behavioral techniques that the patient is immersed in a frightening situation, or slowly (the method of systematic desensitization), or fairly quickly, most commonly used. In addition, patients are taught ways by which it can stop a panic reaction and regain control of their emotions.

Traditionally used by the actual impact of the height (if the person has a phobia associated with a fear of heights); but the studies that were carried out with two thousand and one, have shown that virtual reality in the treatment of phobias can be just as effective. A major advantage of virtual reality is to save time and money.

Acrophobia, as we found out with you is rooted in the evolutionary mechanism of security. However, this phobia is an extreme version of normal caution and may take especially severe. It can also be dangerous for those who are experiencing panic are at a considerable height. Acrophobia may coincide with the symptoms of certain diseases, and it is often complicated by other phobias. We think all this is enough for you to understand - if you experience symptoms of acrophobia, it is necessary to do everything possible, as soon as possible to seek professional help!

We recommend that read: Fear of people: Phobia

Fear of people: all you need to know social phobia

Contents:

• Fear of people: Causes
• The symptoms of social phobia
• How to get rid society of intolerance?

Our society is entirely tied to communication. Successful person is prescribed to be an active, communicative and easy-going. Fear of people or social phobia, does not fit this ideal image. Statistics inexorable: about five percent of the adult population of the world are familiar with this sad disorder. How do I know you have this phobia? What are the causes and symptoms? How to get rid of it? Find answers to your questions in this article.

Fear of people: Causes

It is natural that when speaking of any phenomenon, you want to know where he got the "grow legs". Some psychologists adhere to the version that fear of humans - is far-fetched modern society phobia. They say that when a person has something does not work, he hangs the label "social phobia" and with peace of mind denies the possible beginnings. But that's just it explains the behavior of young people and adolescents, but not mature personalities who, nevertheless, are held captive by his own fear. What factors influence the occurrence of this disorder?

• Anatomy and Physiology

  Currently, there are several versions of health care related to social phobia. Some scientists believe that the reason a genetic predisposition to an intense experience of fear, which could be passed from parents. Others suggest it's all about violations by the structure of the nervous system that cause an imbalance of hormones in the body. For example, a lack of serotonin may be involved in the manifestation of social phobia.

• Character

  Even as a child can be observed that all people behave differently. Some are calm and silent, while others are constantly "on the rampage." They are outgoing, sociable and feel "like a fish in water" among the new guys. Future social phobia usually differ anxiety, secrecy and reluctance to be separated from his mother. It is necessary to try to talk to them - and fifteen minutes of hysterical weeping you provided.

• Taunts from others

  Unfortunately, it happens often enough that a modest and shy child is faced with a lack of understanding of their peers, and sometimes teachers. Fear of appearing ridiculous and awkward amplified by the negative reactions of others, which further increases their agressiyuvnost. So a vicious circle, as a result of which the child becomes an outcast.

• Prolonged stress

  It is not always the phobia is associated with communication is psychological trauma. The psyche of the child is such that, when it can not cope with too heavy for him the circumstances in a particular area "gets out" negative symptom. But as a rule, these stresses are related to the lack of support and an inferiority complex.

• Parental overprotection

  When the couple a child is born, they wish him the best. And very quietly pass a simple line between care and overprotection. What is it expressed? The constant calls the child on the phone, a pile of rules and regulations, sometimes completely unnecessary, hard daily routine and other restrictions, masquerading as the idea of ​​"We wish you well" or "you should grow a good person." All this gives the child in its entirety to get in touch with the real world, as parental actions distort his perception. And subsequently in relation to reality in the child develops phobia.

• The lack of social skills

  If we talk about some limitations, they somehow depriving the child the opportunity to acquire important and useful experience, especially in dealing with others. For example, a mother who does not offend his other children, without even knowing, depriving his ability to stand up for themselves and to protect their borders. Because this experience is very small compared with other people, have grown up child does not have an adequate understanding of the norms of behavior in society, especially on the informal.

• Lack of love

  Too many problems in human life "grow" from the banal nedolyublennosti child's parents. He subconsciously growing sense that the world is hostile and the people who inhabit it always humiliated, offended, repulsed. Naturally, he tends to avoid such negative experiences, and this fear is generated from a phobia.

• Imitation parents

  Another reason why some people are afraid to communicate. As the child grows and develops? He looks at parents and uncritically assimilates their manners, attitudes, attitude to the world and behaviors. If the parents are reserved and reclusive lifestyle, are wary of new people, and communication is not for them joy and a source of stress and problems, then it is likely that the child will inherit their worldview.

• Violence

  In any kind of reason, and it becomes the source of many personal problems. Mind resembles clay, which leave traces all more or less significant events of our lives. If a person has gone through violence, it is now all the people will be seen as a potential threat. Any phobia, including those relating to people, violent color bloom on this basis, as energy, which carries the psychological trauma such as violence, is very, very strong.

The symptoms of social phobia

In general, it is now fashionable to use serious psychiatric terminology in use. Everywhere you can hear words like "depression", "phobia", "nonsense", etc. ... But each of them is hiding something or other mental disorder or borderline! Naturally, our readers are interested in specific symptoms based on which it can be concluded about the severity of a condition. So how evident this phobia?

The symptoms of social phobia are divided into mental and physical. Naturally, the latter is a reflection of the first. At the heart of the whole complex is the human desire to avoid situations that are perceived by them to be critical. These are all situations that require communication: the answers to questions of strangers, public speaking, going to cafes, exam, etc. ... All of this causes social phobia, extreme anxiety.

He also has a special personality traits. Social phobia is very afraid of criticism, with both objective and subjective. This is due to the fact that it has an extremely low self-esteem. It is characterized by severe shyness, because he sometimes can not utter a word in the presence of strangers. His thoughts peculiar to a particular obsession, thanks to which they are constantly reduced to playing the alarm situations that "threaten" social phobia. All this is further complicated by the fact that he is trying to conceal its concern and "handicap" from other people. Naturally, this only leads to an increase in symptoms.

But this is rarely realized person who has this phobia. First of all, he suffers from bodily manifestations disorder. Almost always appear so-called "clips" in the voice and in the chest. They are related to the above concern, which sometimes develops into an animal fear. It also manifests itself in the form of a tremor in the hands, heart palpitations, muscle tension and stiffness, dry mouth and sweating. There may be dizziness and headache. A person sometimes changed temperature sensitivity, leading to a sharp sensation of cold or heat.

Accordingly, the fear of the people can manifest itself as a more or less pronounced personal fear or phobia. In the first case the symptoms described above are simply less intense, or some of them may be missing. At the same time, in the second embodiment, there is a serious problem, manifested in the loss of human life from the public. All these symptoms lead to the fact that the poor social phobia simply ceases to leave the house! Well, or trying to do so only when absolutely necessary. Of course, the question can not be a happy, or at least a normal life.

How to get rid society of intolerance?

People who have seen it a phobia, not just discomfort in communication, seek help from a therapist. The fact that the self-borderline mental disorders can have very unpleasant consequences. The doctor very carefully and correctly establish the diagnosis by verifying that you have a phobia of it, and not something else, prescribe adequate medication and select the appropriate method for your specific therapy.

Phobia, including those associated with the fear of the people, can be adjusted within a wide variety of psychotherapeutic approaches. Psychoanalysis, in particular, runs very deep and allows you to first understand all of their "weak" places, and then reconstruct the personality with the purpose of improving the quality of life. Unpleasant symptoms in this case go away by themselves. Sometimes therapists resort to methods of rational psychotherapy, clearly showing the patient what is the destructiveness of their thoughts and vital installations. Proponents of the Gestalt approach, guided by feelings and human experience, allowing him to find areas where there is power, and reset it. Thus, the skilled artisan will be able to work with you in the way that suits you and your resources.

However, if you notice that you have not a phobia, but the habit, begins inconvenience, you can resort to the help of psychological recommendations offered below:

1. Do not demand too much from yourself

   This is the factor that enhances the already unpleasant condition. Psychological correction need to be addressed gradually, otherwise it will cause harm instead of relief. Listen to yourself and your feelings, relying primarily on them and not on instructions from the outside.

2. Analyze your situation disturbing

   Most likely, they can find something in common, and that is it - a clue to the problem. You can try to apply the metaphor when describing the situation - perhaps she will show the hook that catches every time and gives you easy to communicate with people. When you find, it will be easier to prove to herself that things are not as bad as you thought.

3. Avoid negative experience. Man is so constituted that, with any setting (eg, hostility), he unconsciously doing everything to prove it

   But you're not a machine! Receiving a confirmation of his views, you are more and more strengthened in them, and it is necessary, on the contrary, to be disappointed. Therefore, try to organize themselves around such situations, to communicate with people in them brings you a joy and benefit.

4. Increase self-esteem

   Social phobia is often associated with low self-confidence. Get into the habit several times a day to praise himself for anything. Make a list of the advantages and attach it to a mirror in which you are constantly watching. Enjoy and indulge yourself, even in small things.

5. To master techniques of relaxation

   Any phobia based on the fear that, in the first place, causing muscle tension and clips. So do "approach from below" and learn how to get rid of anxiety by using relaxation. It may be associated with meditation, immersed in happy memories, massage, random muscle relaxation, etc. ... Select the method that you like most of all - and more!

In no event it is impossible to think that the problem will be resolved by itself, but the fear and distrust of the people will be held in one day. Therefore, work on yourself and take care of your mental health, because it is without it you will never be happy and successful!

Why do people talk in his sleep and how to get rid of it?

Contents:

• Why do people talk when they sleep
• What is the treatment of such disorders

Your husband told you that you were whispering to him in a dream of tenderness, and you about that - a dream spirit? Or maybe your child a lot and talking loudly at night, and you do not know what could it mean? Or maybe you listen to what your sleep muttering husband, hoping to find out some of his secrets? You can even go further: try to ask a sleeping man who says something, and do not be surprised - you may even get an answer, even monosyllabic. But make no mistake: this answer was not aware, and he is unlikely to contain a drop of truth. And the one on whom you conducted an experiment, then do not remember what he told you.

Chatter in a dream can be quite amusing. Maybe you say in the midnight hour with nonexistent interlocutors. Or a member of your family is unknowingly night conversations. What is it - innocent feature or symptom of a serious disorder? Why do people speak in a dream, and that this should be (and should I?) To do? Here you will find answers to their questions, and learn how the reasons for this phenomenon, and how you can get rid of this disorder.

Why do people talk when they sleep?

No one can say exactly why from time to time someone starts talking at night. And though there are discrepancies in the statistics, but it is known that about sixty percent of people at least once in his life said, without waking up. So what happens to us when we sleep and talk?

Is this normal?

The phenomenon when someone is talking in his sleep, called somnilokviya. You can find other terms - snogovorenie. What, in fact, one and the same. Somnilokviya falls into the category of sleep disorders, which are also parasomnia, sleepwalking, night terrors and bedwetting. Discussions in a dream - a phenomenon harmless to most people, and it is usually not considered a medical problem. As a rule, he "chatterbox" does not feel any discomfort; rather, the inconvenience experienced man who sleeps with him in the same room.

Firstly, sometimes lying next to someone who says, have to listen to anything that sounds vulgar or foul language. You agree that you will not be too pleased when you suddenly hear from her husband, even sleeping, such expressions, which he never used in your presence, leaving them for purely male environment. And secondly, do not too nice to wake up in the night by someone's conversation, even if it will most innocent words.

Generally "talkers" usually say no more than thirty seconds in one episode. But some people interrupt their conversation quiet sleep many times during the night. Such talk can be very eloquent, and may be inarticulate and unintelligible mutterings that it is impossible to decipher. It may not even be a word, but just individual sounds. Generally it is believed that the sleeping man talking to himself; but sometimes by it seems as if he is with someone Dialogue. He can whisper, and maybe cry. And when you sleep with such a hectic "neighbor", then you risk not to sleep more than when he was snoring!

Who often speaks in a dream?

As we have said, talking in his sleep many. Half of all children between the ages of three to ten years of something spoken in a dream; but the adult only about five percent of "love" to talk after will fall into bed and sleep. These conversations can occur from time to time and every night. For example, a survey of more than two thousand families showed that every tenth child is talking in his sleep more than once or twice a week.

Yet it is known that girls talk as often as boys, and women are no less nocturnal conversations of men. Experts also believe that snogovorenie can be passed "inherited".

When, how and why people are talking in your sleep?

Somnilokviya usually can occur during two different stages of a night's rest: during the second stage of non-REM sleep, when it - it's just a stream of thoughts are not accompanied by dreams, and during the stage, accompanied by rapid eye movement (this stage is characterized by active dreams ). During slow sleep stage, you can easily wake up (sometimes even saying he wakes up from the sound of his own voice), while at the stage of rapid wake him pretty hard.

When this yet achieved the awakened will not remember what he had just said. And even during the rapid stage, accompanied by dreams, the conversation often has nothing to do with the plot of his nocturnal visions. Of course, talking in his sleep may be associated with the very dream. We can talk about what we dream, and we can carry on a dialogue with the person who came up with our dormant imagination. On the other hand, experts are confident that we could dream about one thing, and talk at the same time a different story.

Discussions during sleep may vary in frequency and intensity to that influenced by many factors. For example, drinking alcohol before going to bed. There may be more complex factors - such as high fever, emotional stress, taking certain medications and some basic sleep problems, such as sleep apnea. Well, as we mentioned, a genetic predisposition. All of this can to some extent cause you or your loved snogovorenie.

How to treat the talk in your sleep?

You should not attach much importance to what you hear from the sleeping man. It's just a sweet nothings! Word of sleep - not a reflection of what was happening to him in life. And you can not believe the myths that say that you can find out all the secrets from her sleeping husband, overhearing him unconscious revelation. Like, imagine a person sleeps, loosening control over himself, and does not even know that at this moment gives himself away. On deceived! What does your husband sleep (if he speaks, of course), has nothing to do with reality.

And even in his dreams he does not have what he was talking at night! He did not even remember what he's talking about. Moreover, when any offender to tell the rest of the night, he was talking in his sleep, it will be much surprised - something he has no idea that there is such a habit!

Needless to worry about what your loved one is chatting at night, even if he does it in a loud voice. If it's a child, just look at it and make sure it is safe. Now, you already know that there is nothing wrong with such conversations there.

And when the talk in a dream can become a cause for concern? Only when you feel too broken and rested during the day (when the night talking to you), or when talking during sleep accompanied by other disorders, such as sleepwalking. If you are feeling sleepy every day, then you need to see a specialist who will help you choose the best sequence of actions to remedy the situation.

How is such a disorder?

Before you go to the doctor, talk to the family, which sleep in the same bed, or in the same room. It will help you prepare for certain issues specialist. For example, the doctor will be interested in how often do you talk in his sleep and how long have you been doing it. Do not be surprised if their parents do you know that talking at night as a child! And do not forget to tell the specialist.

It is now believed that there is no need to conduct any testing, through which it would be possible to investigate the people talking in his sleep. However, the doctor may prescribe an appropriate examination, such as polysomnography, when you have the symptoms of the disorder combined. Snogovorenie itself rarely requires treatment; Nevertheless, it may be a sign of a more serious disorders or diseases that are actually to be treated.

If your family has a person who is often concerned about the rest of the night sounds or display of other sleep disorders, you should know that there are some things that can help reduce the frequency and intensity of unpleasant episodes:

• First of all, make sure that the speaker on the night a family member gets enough rest. It is not excluded that sometimes interferes with sleep, and he himself, or maybe he did too little sleep, and the body does not manage to restore its resources.
• Minimize all the factors that can cause stress and increase the level of anxiety in your loved one. Stress may increase the likelihood and severity of carotid disorders.
• Keep a permanent regime of rest, go to sleep and wake up in the morning is always one and the same time.
• Do not eat a heavy meal just before bedtime.
• When talking in his sleep, or close the child shows signs of severe anxiety or fear, if necessary, try to calm him down gently.

Some specific drugs or ways in which to get rid of somnilokvii does not exist, and the special need are not available. But when you consider that a few lines listed above (most importantly - to avoid stressors, and reduce the deficit night's sleep), you can significantly reduce the likelihood of a restless sleep and talk in the middle of the night.

In addition, you could be a great help to maintain a special diary. This would allow to the person suffering snogovoreniem, or doctor to identify the problems that cause the violation of sleep. If you are going to go to a specialist pre-start to make regular entries in two weeks. Write to as detailed as possible when you go to sleep, as you took the time to go to sleep when I woke up in the morning and if you remember their night awakenings.

Be sure to fix any medications you are taking these days and at what time they drank. What else should be written? Do you drank caffeinated drinks, how much and when? And you took alcohol? Have you nervous? Do you play sports, walking in the street? The more recorded information, the easier it is to find one irritant that prevents you sleep peacefully and without problems.

On the other hand ... Well, you're talking at night - and talk to your health! Tirado says in the dream of your loved one? Well, let him speak out, I'm sorry, what? If only you did not interfere with sleep. After all the talk in his sleep - is not a disease, is no threat to life and health, they do not carry. So do not worry - will sleep tight!

We advise to check: If a person talking to himself

What is claustrophobia? Symptoms, causes, treatment

Contents:

• Symptoms of claustrophobia
• Causes of claustrophobia
• Treatment of claustrophobia

Yet just two hundred years ago, humanity knew practically nothing about mental illness. About the people who suffer them, they said, if they were not of this world, and isolated. But the percentage was much lower than their current one. What's the deal here?

The modern pace of life is associated with information overload so wild that the nervous system simply can not withstand this pressure. And a person begins to observe strange things and border, for example, fear of people or claustrophobia. In general, all kinds of obsessive fears - a scourge of modern man, almost the same as depression. The thing is the complexity of the surrounding space and its multidimensionality. In this article we will discuss one of the varieties of these states: causes, symptoms and treatment of claustrophobia - about all this, read on.

Symptoms of claustrophobia

In general, what is claustrophobia? In everyday terms this term is called claustrophobia. But, unfortunately, it is not so simple. Claustrophobia is manifested not only in the inability to stay in small rooms, and a large gathering of people. It says that a person who suffers from it pathologically kind to the violation of the borders of personal space. What symptoms indicate to us about this phobia?

• Vegetative sensations. Like any other phobia, claustrophobia has very specific physical symptoms, manifested in the form of attacks. At this point a man quickens the pulse and breathing, increased sweating, nausea may occur and dizziness.
• Fear. All of the above symptoms are manifestations of this particular emotion. At the core of any phobia key is the fear and claustrophobia - is no exception. In some cases, people clearly aware of what exactly he was afraid - for example, suffocation, fainting, or get out of the room - and in some it's just a general feeling of anxiety that prevents a person live.
• Avoid enclosed space. This is evident in everything unwillingness to be in narrow rooms, elevators, hallways, where so many people that the human body turn into pushing from all sides of the wall. Suffering from this disease in every way a person will avoid such situations: walking up the stairs, leaving the door open, and rarely appear on the crowded areas. Some people believe that only this can be the answer to the question how to get rid of claustrophobia.

Causes of claustrophobia

Like all pathological fear, claustrophobia has its reasons. However, scientists are still arguing about them, which does not make a qualitative breakthrough in the treatment of claustrophobia. Everything depends on the initial position of the researcher. For example, doctors and psycho-physiologists believe that the basis of disorders, as always, lies in the violation of the nervous system. In particular, we are talking about a reduced amygdala - part of the brain that is responsible for the fear response and follow-up.

Psychogenetics have a slightly different view on this issue. They think that a man initially bears all phobias - it is inherent in the genetic code and promotes survival instinct of self-realization. Now most of them are not necessary for the person, because many objects of fear just disappeared from our lives. However, the evolution - a very slow process, and atavism not disappear as quickly as we would like.

And, of course, is the Lord of psychologists who have their own theory on this subject, but rather several. In particular, it is believed that all the fault of personal space. We all have it, but have different sizes, and the greater the distance, the higher the probability of an attack of claustrophobia. In addition, the psychologists from Emory University found that people who experience a similar problem, give your personal space is much larger than the other, meaning. However, it is unclear what came first - the chicken or the egg.

A major role in this process is removed psychological trauma. Judge for yourself if the child for a long time been in a public place without parents and was afraid of being abandoned, it is not surprising that in the future he will try to avoid a repeat of a similar situation. Also, if the kid does not know how to swim, and suddenly finds himself in a deep pool is choking, it leaves its mark on the psyche of a lifetime. Not to mention the cases of violence or aggression in confined spaces where there is a direct transfer of the old circumstances to any other.

Treatment of claustrophobia

Any person suffering from this disease, I want to understand how to get rid of all claustrophobic. Because otherwise it's not a life when you are forced to prostraivat every step, taking into account their own pathology. Lack of normal capacity for self-realization, to meet their needs, the feeling of inferiority - all these things make people think about the treatment of claustrophobia.

If it is - it's you, then you absolutely need to address to the psychotherapist. This doctor will help you choose an adequate treatment regimen, and combining medications and psychological help. The only way you can achieve more or less the level of quality of life. We invite you to complement psychotherapy compliance with our modest recommendations:

1. Find the source of fear. Of course, this is a task for your co-operation with the therapist, but no mention of it is impossible. Not just to know about what the situation has started the painful process - still need to complete it, that is, to reduce stress, which she left in your soul.
2. Create a chart to help you deal with bouts. They most exhausting claustrophobia. Psychologists advise at this time to replace the dark and negative image that "covers" you aware pleasant memory or imagination. Also, get at eye level an object to focus on it and watch - it creates stability. Can you remember any poem or lyrics favorite song.
3. Meet more people. Claustrophobia - is a disorder that contributes to isolation. Do not allow it! Meet friends and friends - let your communication gives you positive emotions. By the way, you can use the phone and during an attack by dialing a loved one and talk to him at least a short time.
4. Begin to associate a closed space with something good. During the attack it is very difficult to do, but you can prepare in advance. For example, for most people, it can be associated with security - in a closed room does not penetrate enemy or evil spirits.

Well, it is not necessary to test themselves and to create situations that trigger the emergence of a new attack. Even if for some reason you can not get rid of this disease, you will be able to find a balance and so "agree" with the disease, so that it does not prevent you to live and enjoy life.

We recommend that read: Persecution: Causes and Symptoms

How to forget the guy you love

Contents:

• Getting started: first steps most difficult
• Love, I can cure you!
• On the way to complete healing

Love - a wonderful feeling, few would dispute this assertion. We all strive to find love - this is the natural state of things. But life is very variable in nature, and sometimes it happens that, instead of bliss of mutual love we experience the love of flour nerazdelennoy.V these bitter moments in the head of every girl there is a question about what to do, how to forget the guy you love, if love not mutual or reciprocal, but has no right to exist (for example, if you fell in love with a man not free).

If you do not consider yourself to the category of people who are happy just suffering, then you understand that cherish love, hurts you, it is unwise. Consequently, all the advice that we consider here, for sure help you to get rid of the pain and regain peace of mind and harmony. According to psychologists, from such feelings as unrequited love, you need to get rid of as soon as possible: not every human soul is purified through suffering. Very often it happens that the soul is destroyed, and it is in our plans with you does not fit, right? To you it does not, it's time to start acting, perhaps, after a first effort on myself, through I can not; but the road by the only one who dared to take the first step.

Getting started: first steps most difficult

It does not matter whether you are a couple yesterday, and this morning you announced the termination of the relationship, or free the girl, who found that dries the charming representative of the strong half of humanity has a very decent amount of time. It's all the details. All you now have to do - is to understand yourself, to understand on what exactly you are suffering. Love Lee became the reason? Treatment can be started only from the moment when the diagnosis is tochno.Togda recovery will come more quickly and will be complete.

We give some examples of that suffering is not always a result of love, but you try to try these situations to themselves. It may be that some of these approaches, and you?

• You are so single-minded girl, which set a goal, the bones will lie to get their way. Indifference Man put you into a blind alley - you're not accustomed to defeat; And everything else - the forbidden fruit is the sweetest.
• The real relationship with a man - it's so hard! Love invented the image is much easier: no deficiencies have loved and ... Yes, actually, and loved in fact are not.
• Or maybe you do banal excuse for laziness? Gone with the head in love of suffering, rather than to seek work, writing diploma or something else that requires you to effortlessly and solutions?
• Are you sure that cry from the loss of a loved one, and not because of the loss of the status of a successful girl? Your now former male was a very eligible bachelor (appearance actor, the availability of apartments, jobs, careers, and the list goes on) for any girl. You loved him and that gave it to you congregation?
• For some reason you believe that love is impossible without the dramas of separation and stradaniy.Mozhno plenty to give examples to the contrary, but you are not so easy to give up the torments of love for you is sweeter caught herself.

If one of the examples you see similarities with their situation, how to forget the guy you love, the speech will likely not go. Laziness, wounded pride, vanity, pride - all this tends to recover naturally and quickly. A little more difficult given changing attitudes and improving self-esteem, but then a lot depends on your own desires and resources.

Love, I can cure you!

Everything is much more serious if it is still a very real love. Injuries sustained by the break in relations, the soul does the same pain, which can be applied to the physical body, striking man. Continuing to see the analogy between physical and mental suffering, let us remember chtoproiskhodit us when we got bodily injury? First comes the shock. We can even in the first moments not feel the pain. Then she covers us. We start to cry. We inform about the trouble all of whom want to get help and relief from pain. Doctor prescribes a treatment to us. We try to follow all the recommendations, take drugs, we want to recover as soon as possible. Time passes, and the wound heals. Health back in order.

Let's proceed on the same algorithm, and will render most of our precious heart - stricken, injured - first aid.

Cleansing tears

Once the pain has declared itself, it means that the initial shock has passed. You have accepted the inevitability of the break in relations, and the futility of the efforts to renew them. What to do next? Cry. And since you did not cry, probably since childhood - selflessly, excitedly, to complete exhaustion of all your stocks salty liquid. We women are not forbidden to do so - we are emotional beings, and such discharge though devastate us, but for a while it will give relief and respite.

Announcement

Choose number of persons who will dedicate to you the changes have taken place in his personal life, on the principle of "do no harm yourself! "Close, no doubt, try to express the sympathy and support, but colleagues at work may disapprove treat such revelations. Therefore, limit the number of people with whom you will talk about his trouble. In psychology, there is a method by which its pain can talk as long as you yourself do not want to stop talking about the same now for the umpteenth time.

This method is very suitable even for those ladies who are used to avoid the invasion of strangers into their lives: to tell about his personal drama of the first passers (under the condition that he agrees to listen to), you will not run the risk that it will be made public. Even if such contact seems still too personal - call on the hotline. At some point you will feel that your forces have no thumb at the same tenth of a circle and listen to tips on how to remember a loved one, and words of sympathy from your jaded listeners. It is time to take action, do not you?

Treatment or self - can be individually and collectively can

The first stage is over. You can still occasionally cry and torment yourself and others the next portion of a very bitter memories of shattered happiness. Logically, the next action should be access to a doctor. Healers shower - psychologists - faster and best help understand how to forget the guy you love unrequited and mutually. Tips based on a scientific approach, certainly deserve respect. But specialist services are rather big money, and peace of mind to return for a couple of visits is not possible.

No one person will not help you if you do not want to get well, remember this. Ask yourself: "How can I help myself? I really want to rediscover the joy in life. I can handle myself or not? "Advice about what you seek medical attention to the question of how to forget a guy who likes so far, or to overcome his own pain can not be mixed. We are all individual. Perhaps the best results you will achieve by using all or some given in this article recommendations, aligning it with the advice of a psychologist.

You should definitely try the following:

1. Until now, you could not bring himself to part with items that remind you of your past life

   Look at them again makes your heart contract, but something prevented send them all in the trash. You put them in a corner, and that was the maximum, which at that point you were able to.

   It is time to act decisively and with conviction: I can do it; Grasp dismantle tangible reminders of the past. Photographs, personal objects of former favorite, which he for some reason, did not bother to pick up, as well as all once so dear to the heart trinkets and trifles with no options and pity to submit emissions. These items had a value when you were one. Now it's too much a reminder of a failed relationship and befallen disappointment in love.

2. It's time to think about how you lived before your meeting with a former love

   What you had before Hobbies, mugs for interesam.A to some of them do not reach the hands, it's time you would spend on a loved one? Double the effort to catch up. Choose a time when you can sit quietly and think, "What do I want?

   Because now I can afford all that I came into our heads! "Do not restrain the flight of his thoughts and fantasies: you want to learn a foreign language or a parachute jump? You no more holding back. Once you are addicted to knitting and did not get out of the gym? It's time to buy some yarn and magazines with beautiful models and buy a subscription to a fitness club, immediately after purchasing this set of sportswear for his visit.

3. Any change of impressions (of course, in a positive way) will distract you from sad thoughts

   If the situation allows - on vacation. Select the country you've always wanted to visit, pack your bags and buy tickets. Leave suddenly do not allow workers doing? Arrange shopping: cosmetics, items, furnishings, new appliances or electronics - which requires your soul?

   When planning a grand shopping, sign up for all sorts of treatments for appearance. After visiting beautician, hairdresser, master of manicure and pedicure you feel like the queen of the world, it will not only confirm the mirror.

4. Your love is in the past. That you can not change, in contrast to the present, and, consequently, the future

   Think about what you can change now to the future then you pleased? For example, the work has been to you earlier is clearly not in the first place. Everything has changed, and from the words "I can easily make a career" just go into action: in your will to change things for the better

   You decide how to build their own future great career: in the same organization and the same department, where you still worked, or should try to change the department to change employer or even start their own business.

5. They say that to suffer the pangs of love is not necessary for those who are always ready to share it generously

   You have always loved animals, but to have a small pet did not work? It's time to do it right now, give your love and care for the little living creature. Your love for him - this is the most important thing in his life. And you, like no other, now just be able to say that we are truly responsible for those who love it.

All these tips work, gradually you'll see this. Channel their energies in constructive and peaceful course, often say to yourself: "I can not afford the luxury of a waste of time on the depression and longing for the past. But I'll be happy. "

What is not recommended

In addition to these recommendations, which will help you quickly forget the unhappy love, wanted to give a few others. They relate to those actions that do not:

• The first time should be avoided meetings with ex-boyfriend

  To the extent that the sick or take a vacation, if you work together. Even if the separation took place quite civilized on both sides, you are the injured party. See every day of his calm face, at the same time as your own heart like a pile of debris - is necessary to fence themselves from such an opportunity.

• Think about why you threw

  You have not given up, and razlyubili.Eto first. And the second - it happens! .. Take it as a fact, without reference to self. It happens that people leave. It happens to the beauties and simpleton, with educated and not very good, with excellent hostess and those who only know how to cook boiled eggs. The presence or absence of a loved one is not dependent on a particular set your qualities. To improve myself as a person must be to yourself and your own preferences. But it serves as a guarantor of happy love relationship that can not.

• To claim that no one will never be able to love

  So you always doom themselves to a life without love, so that the loss suffered. Even if you do not consider the option that the new man will help you (even without being aware of it) quickly forget its predecessor, giving the tenderness and love of your heart. Remember that a new love can and should occur in your life.

• Throw the cap over the mill

  Alcohol gives a temporary oblivion. About drugs in general would be superfluous to mention - and this is a clear threat of harm to your health. Start collecting men's hearts, too, is not recommended. Instead, the sweetness of victory at some point you may suddenly feel the emptiness and loneliness of your own. After all, the amount can never replace quality. For the break a woman's heart is no consolation in the top ten, the other broken men's hearts: to hurt someone else, is unlikely to be able to comfort their own suffering. Forget the past love nor alcohol nor many fans will not help.

• Go to the other extreme and begin to idealize the past relationship and man

  Believe me, there are no perfect people, and reckon canonized your ex man is not even on this banal reason. Do not try to compare the new fans and a new relationship that has sunk into oblivion. We are all different. Surely your past love was something pleasing you and something frustrating. Give a chance to a new feeling into your life, and yourself - to hear from a new lover's cherished words: "I love you."

On the way to complete healing

Think positively, first through the power, and then without any effort on its part, and the pain of parting with the old love will soon weaken and then come to naught. The memories remain, but it will not hurt you. Bear in mind also that the time also heals wounds, which means that each new day brings us closer to a complete healing. Ultimately, the choice is yours: you prefer to suffer or to live a full and happy life; and in fact, and in another case, you will have a sea of ​​opportunities to do so. The world keeps on call for each of us the means to achieve our goals. You just have to learn to see them and know how to use them.

We hope (and wish you that with all my heart) that you prefer the suffering and torment of unrequited love dazzling happiness which gives us mutual love. Does not exclude the possibility that, once again knowing happiness is to love and be loved, at some point you even mentally thanked his unhappy love for what she's gone from your life. Life is generous to those who really want to be happy and loved, and who refuses to spend themselves in fruitless suffering and distress. Believe ye therefore in themselves, tell yourself: "I can be happy! "

We recommend to check out: How quickly forget the Man

How to forget the person you loved and maybe even continue to love

All of us at least once in his life had to endure the separation from a loved one, and if you do not want to break a love relationship, the experience it will be much harder. Many people start to suffer at a loss, why it happened, and can not find a way to forget the man who for some length of life for them was perhaps the most important in the world.

Psychology knows not so many methods to get rid of the memories of a loved one, as these feelings and their experience is entirely dependent on the individual characteristics of the different character of each individual. However, there are universal ways through which you can quickly forget the loved one and then begin to live life to the fullest. Consider these methods in more detail.

What should I do to get rid of the memory of the beloved

Remove all things reminiscent of the once-loved one

To get rid of the constant thought of the man who was to have the roads, sometimes it is enough simply to remove from your life all the things that remind us of it. Most often, such things can be attributed all kinds of gifts, small souvenirs, postcards and notes that he'll give away and forgotten in your home clothes, umbrellas, bags, CDs and other personal belongings that your ex-boyfriend did not have time to pick up or simply do not I found it necessary to do so.

If desired, various dates in the home, but it reminds you of the little things you can give to friends or acquaintances, but is much better to take, and without regret throwing them rigidly thwarting attempts of his mind to leave at least something that you really like. Psychologists say that "clean up" their living space from all the things that could remind of a failed novel, the first few days you will certainly experience a little discomfort, but even just a week will feel a complete upgrade of their thoughts and perhaps even find yourself, that for the whole day never remembered former lover.

Get rid of the psychological "anchor"

"Anchor" in psychology is defined as any points that cause a man any particular emotional response with very bright colors, which often occurs at a subconscious level and causes the emergence of certain feelings. For examples of such "anchors" that hinder forget once a loved one is a musical composition, which was played on your first date or during any other significant moments; places where you often liked to walk along; mutual friends, and the like.

If you do not remove these "anchors" of his life, to forget a loved one to which you have experienced any feelings, it will be very, very difficult, even for those people who have the rare ability to control their thoughts and emotions. The fact that the "anchor" act solely on the subconscious and, whether you like it or not, cause a surge of certain emotions. The most difficult - is to identify all the moments and events, reminds you of the former favorite, try not to analyze why certain situations cause you have certain feelings, and try to completely eliminate them from your life.

For breaching this hard work it will need more than one week, but as a result you will be able to get rid of the most powerful subconscious signals that prevent you quickly forget the person with whom you had rasstatsya. In addition, such a profound self-study over a significantly develop the ability to cope with any difficult situations and try to understand a little this interesting science, psychology.

Embark on a journey

Council to take a trip that modern psychology gives every other difficult situations, already seems a little "jaded", and because less effective. However, if you are concerned about how to forget a person, once to give you the happiest moments of life, such advice is actually one of the most effective.

The fact is that taking a vacation and having decided to travel, any person, as a rule, pre-configured on a positive wave, and once in the destination, further deepened in the positive perception of life due to the large number of new experiences. If a holiday supplement easy and pleasant exercise in the fresh air and healthy delicious food with plenty of fruit and vegetables, the "enlightenment" of thoughts will not take long.

Activities you can choose any brand, as they say, to your taste, because its goal is complete relaxation and spending time just the way you like most. The only undesirable type of holiday to forget former lover is lying on the beach every day, because nothing involved in this case, the brain begin to do "pop" to the owner thought only about with whom you had recently split. And indeed, most effectively on holiday, the principle of "the more risky and unusual, the better," because in most cases, completely rid of any thoughts about a man who had once been indifferent to you.

Think of all his negative qualities

As a rule, the person to whom you are having a strong romantic feelings or who just really like you, I appear before your eyes in the "pink" light, not allowing even the slightest to see his shortcomings and negative nature. However, even with the experience of love couples who have lived together for more than a year, the partners may notice certain flaws in each other's behavior, but it may not give them the values ​​that remained in the minds of the picture almost perfect romance.

This, of course, is pure self-deception, which simply allows for quite a long time there in the comfort of emotional and psychological state. However, at a time when there is parting with a loved one, we are often completely forget all the negative aspects of the former Soviet Union have, and before our mind's eye sweep only happy moments. You can continue to continue to cherish the pleasant memories, but forget the way former lover certainly fail.

To get rid of mental depending on when a loved one is to try to remember all the negative aspects of his character, as well as any unpleasant situation associated with it, and, most importantly, write it all down on paper. The most famous works of psychology says that you can remember any number of various "sins" and the negative features of his former second half, but really aware of all this is possible only when before the eyes will rest as much as possible a more detailed list.

Record should be all the way down to the most minor detail, since every negative feature acts like a way of forgetting the beloved is only strengthened. Writing such a list should be at least several times a day (and better with every free minute), read it, until you realize that regret is not complicated relationship with such a rude, unpleasant and unattractive type is simply no need.

This method is very often not only quickly forget the failed partner in life, but also to develop a good habit to pay attention not only to the dignity and the shortcomings of the people who at first sight is often not very visible, but later can have a significant impact on building public -or relationship with that person.

Leave attempt to forget

One of the most controversial, but quite effective in many "neglected" cases of human way of forgetting is deliberately cultivating any, even the smallest thought about it. It should try to think about his former second half every second without interruption to any other thoughts. Every day you must try to increase the duration of the memories of a loved one, filling them any "gaps" in the mind, including during a random free moments at work or school.

It would seem that such advice is completely absurd, because in front of you is quite the opposite goal, but to many people it is an exaggerated mental note to his former partner in life and helps to forget it. The fact is that, forcibly causing in my mind certain thoughts, eventually you will achieve that your subconscious mind will begin to actively oppose them and literally "push" their brand new, as a rule, far more joyful and positive thoughts. Despite the effectiveness of similar method can be applied only when the others were ineffective.

Find new romantic affair

Progressive Psychology offers another bold way to forget once loved one - simply re-tighten the dizzying fall in love and romance, emotions, from which will enable to displace the idea of ​​the failed second half. This method can be applied only in cases when you know that the new feelings and impressions can easily get you out of any condition characterized by such negative phenomena as melancholy, apathy, lethargy, and the like.

However, even if you decide to start a new novel, it does not mean that is "throw" on the first comer, since such relations may just lead to further dive into a state close to depression. Simply costs more to communicate with new people, to get acquainted with those who have similar interests, start to lead an active social life, enroll in dancing or any courses that involve learning what attracts you for a long time. In general, the more active life you lead, the sooner find a new love and be able to immerse your head in a romantic relationship, is completely forgotten and ex-boyfriend.

Just wait

Very often, people start frantically looking for ways how to make himself forget the person, from the moment when the separation took place only a few weeks, or even a day. Of course, in such cases, neither of which the effectiveness of forgetting can be no question as to quickly get rid of the thoughts of a man who yesterday was for you one of the most expensive in the world, it will not turn. Psychology as a science, most closely engaged in the problem of human feelings and emotions in a variety of planes, advises simply to be patient and wait for the first, the most striking negative impressions of the gap is not extinguished, and life does not go into more normal.

Trying to remember a loved one for a couple of days or weeks, stupid and ineffective because subconsciously you'll still consider him a close friend for at least several months. Particularly positive people who enjoy life in all its manifestations, to the complete disappearance of thoughts about former lover and can last 2-3 weeks, but the more susceptible individuals, who are accustomed to experience all at a very deep inner level, forgetting for a truly loved one It may need even a year. However, what type would you or treated in any case it is necessary to trust the flow of time, which, as you know, is the best healer in getting rid of any feelings of heart.

Despite the fact that now is an opportunity to forget a loved one may seem absolutely unreal to you, remember that a lot of people around the world managed to get rid of the obsessive thoughts about a former lover and begin to live a new, vibrant and full of life. If you do not be lazy and take advantage of all the tips from this article, you probably will succeed in this difficult matter as once forgetting a loved one. If, having tried to practice all the methods described above, you have not achieved the desired "oblivion", it remains only to consult a psychologist who will forget frustrated mate once and for all.

What to do if you envy: a psychological sketch

Contents:

• On the nature of envy
• Types of envy
• Causes of envy
• What to do

Let's talk about feelings, or rather the feeling of envy. Surely you've encountered with other people's manifestations unkind attitudes, themselves fall into the power of that emotion. It is believed that jealousy - is a negative feeling, which breaks down the inside of your carrier. But whether things really are? And what if you are jealous, and you want to stop it?

On the nature of envy

The first step is to understand what you're dealing with. In general, many people have a very distorted view of envy: it seems that this "animal" comes only when all others have developed, and without it is impossible to do. However, it is not. Envy - a feeling that there is, on the one hand, a man selfish, and, on the other hand, having low self-esteem and a variety of inferiority complex. Experiencing this state does not want to develop the most - much better if the object of envy will be humiliated or crushed.

Envy is a complicated and complex feelings. That is, in its experience, there are certain steps which are deployed over time. But as in the time of growing up, we have forgotten how to listen to your inner voice and experience the feeling of fullness, this is not recognized by us.

How to start the experience of envy? With the feeling of being lost. It pierces the man at the moment when he sees that something else is better than him. There may be accompanying thoughts about his own insignificance, that you do not see. After that comes a sense of wounded to the quick. The man begins to doubt himself and his lifestyle. He did not abandon the idea that he was alone, and others if there are in a different world. All this is manifested in the experience of loneliness, emptiness and insignificance of their own.

Naturally, for this is followed by anger and insults. "What is the reason to me such an attitude, and you have everything so well? "- Thinks the envious and begins to analyze the situation. It seems that when he is in position of the object of his jealousy, justice will be restored: he will give the deserved attention and respect. But it somehow did not fall to, and comes to offense, and all at once, including themselves. Aggression is transferred, resulting in a person thinks that he is a poor and needy.

Thus, as a result of jealousy, you lose yourself, your value. This feeling hurt and lost identity. By the way, the envious and those who envy, attracted to each other like magnets. This is due to the fact that often they all have problems with self-esteem and their place in the world. There is a type of people who deliberately cause envy in others, so as soon as it gives them a sense of importance and realizovanna. Therefore, if you are jealous, you should consider: Does not provoke you surround yourself this feeling?

Types of envy

Have you already realized that jealousy - is a complex feeling. However, this issue is not limited to: inter alia, there are different kinds of envy, which generally differ from one another. In some extreme people may fall?

• Envy is blind

  As the saying goes, "to know a person, you need to walk a mile in his shoes." But many people forget about it and start to envy others, just by watching their progress. Indeed, from the outside it may seem that everything comes easy man: and career and family and friendship. But if each of us could "get into the skin of another," the number of people willing to trade places have plummeted. Every man has his own problems, and we can not judge them so simple - it is possible that for him they are a hundred times worse than the problem of envy. Very often in these cases, the life of another idealized envious and simply a reflection of his own dreams.

• "Big-eyed" jealousy

  There are cases when a person is jealous consciously. Typically, such a jealousy is experienced not as black but as dark gray - it is easier and more understandable, because we do have other things that you really want. However, even in this situation, it is a negative sense, as the ability to transform into a very deep aggression towards herself (after all, there is an understanding that a person in no guilty, but only has what is) and guilt. Naturally, with this condition also have to work.

In everyday life it can be divided envy on the "white" and "black". The latter manifests itself in the desire to hurt the feelings of the object, and the first - in an effort to improve themselves and their lives. But that's the reality of this border is so ephemeral that people can easily move from one state to another. Unfortunately, clean "white" envy is quite rare, because it is difficult to be - much easier to "fall" in the aggression towards the other.

Causes of envy

If you are jealous, you usually do not feel very well. It is only from a distance seems to be in this kind of focus - it's great. In fact, always envious in varying degrees pulled energy from the one who envy. Therefore, I wish this very strange. But in order to get rid of it, you need to understand the causes envy.

It is believed that jealousy - is a useful and save as a result of the evolution of the feeling is the same as aggression or fear. It seems like it should push us to self-improvement. For example, one who hunted worse, next time will be more persistent and diligent. Or make yourself the best tools. But in this case it is only the "white envy" and "black" does not take into account.

Envy is always based on comparing yourself with someone else. In general, the mechanism is, of course, good and should contribute to the development of man, but when he "rolled" in comparison too often, it becomes very sad, because there is always a person who has things go better. A desire the whole world and all the people with all their actions fit into a simple two-dimensional coordinate system "better or worse".

As a result, there is a profound lack of confidence. That it is another essential tool for the emergence of envy. By the way, the habit of excessive compared to a person usually gets in deep childhood - he grafted her parents. In general, the role of the father and the mother in particular on the issue of very great envy. If parents love their child unconditionally, accept it and praise, then he has a sense of inner peace. Their love is like a shadow, lives now in the adult heart. But if it does not, and the parents are constantly demanding something from the baby comparing it to more successful children, it gets used to feel inferior, and envious of the latter.

Setting frequently also helps to make us feel good. People may feel sorry for you, for example, due to the fact that you are not married, all your peers. And even if you do not consider yourself from this flawed, then about a hundred repetitions of such ideas run the risk of thinking, "Maybe it really me that something is wrong, and these girls - better than me? ". This is partly due to the fact that envy - like the plague. People who are sick to her, seeking to infect others, otherwise they will feel flawed.

Distorted perception also affects what people are jealous of each other. After all, as we see the world and their fellow human beings? In part, fragmentary, in some situations. And even if we can observe a certain person for a long enough time, we will still never be able to find out what's going on inside of him at some point in time. It is possible that the millionaire whom we envy, every night and comes home sad from what can not trust anyone. Or is it goes on all night clubs, pumping of alcohol and drugs, in order not to feel his deep unhappiness. But we see only the outer shell, and it seems to us that there is something to envy.

What to do?

The world is full of envy - that's a fact. But you do not want her to feel "hard way" in any form! What to do if you're still in a situation where you are jealous? How to break this vicious circle and to protect themselves from toxic envy?

1. Look at yourself

   The more you encourage others to envy? There is no way that you - white and fluffy, and they hurt you. Most likely, somewhere in the subconscious, you do not just rejoice with their successes, but they all want to show to prove to yourself that you are better than others. It is not surprising that such a condition causes the other is quite natural reaction - jealousy and the desire to topple you from the throne. Need to find a all these things and get rid of them, otherwise you'll encounter and with this feeling.

2. Get rid of excess altruism

   It may seem that if you fight back, you will offend those of other people. But remember that the envious do not care about you - they only think about themselves and how to annoy you. Even if you were not, they would have to worry about someone else: cursed be his "curse" of the eyes, and would build plots. Agree, if you do not pay attention to it, it will be the envy of more multiplied.

3. Cultivate your rod

   No need to adjust to the estimates and opinions of others. Envious and will try to humiliate you and accuse any mortal sins. You will have to endlessly justify before them and give your precious energy. It should not be! So look at what moments you hurt their claims. Maybe you're really worried that you may be doing something wrong. And that it was not necessary once and for all to believe in themselves and to build their lives in accordance with the call of the heart and intuition.

4. Keep envious too close

   If you see the manifestation of this feeling with friends, then continue communicating with them with greater care. You should not see this as a compliment to myself, because sooner or later this "friend" wants to amuse your self-esteem and look at your fall. So when you want to maintain the relationship, sincere and honest conversation can not be avoided. But if he does not help, then such people should say goodbye - quietly and without undue regret.

5. Eradicates envy in themselves

   As we have mentioned, in such situations include those who himself is not without sin. Envy of others if an indicator of your own flaws. Learn to do to get rid of the toxic feelings: it is necessary to eliminate the cause. Do not compare yourself with others, grow personally and learn to see the lives of others with integrity - then envy will not "stick" to you in any form.

Thus, it is clear that envy needed to do something - it was too much in our world. Close people are envious of each other, advertising provokes in us a feeling, and talking about it was absolutely normal.

And as each of us looks with indifference and participates in it, nothing will change. Live happily and do not induce envy of others!

We strongly recommend to read Psychology envy