Loss and grief: the six steps on the path to healing

Do you suffer from the pain and grief of any loss in your life? If so, we are willing to empathize with you. We wish you love and goodness in your way. We want to help you overcome your pain!

Loss and grief sooner or later found on the path of life of every person. Every one of us is experiencing the pain of losing a particular betrayal, care of family life, loss of love, deceived expectations distancing maturing children, fleeing youth. It happens that every single disappointment in itself is not so great, but they accumulate, they cause depression and loss of interest in life. It would seem that only that everything was okay, and the next moment the heart contracts wrench and the earth was slipping from under his feet. And if you really suffered a great loss - such as the death of a loved one or a divorce - there is despair and grief will be enough to make you throw up their hands for a few months or even years.

But even less dramatic life events and changes can cause you a lot of pain and suffering. Here are some of them:

• Moving from one residence to another;
• Check out the kids out of the house;
• Break or any other friendly relationships;
• Change or loss of a job;
• Detection at the signs of aging;
• The illness or loss of legal capacity, which makes unattainable for you that until recently was normal;
• Failures in the business;
• Failure to plans caused by coincidence, not your desire;
• A serious quarrel or divorce of their parents;
• The contradiction in the views (for example, different religious beliefs) between you and your loved ones;
• A sense of aimlessness and meaninglessness of your life;
• Awareness of their own weaknesses and bad habits that ruin lives, but change that you can not;
• The death of your beloved pet.

If one or more of the above cases occurred with you, you also run the risk of becoming a victim of depression. Any life changes, even if it is a positive change, leading to stress and a strong sense of loss. Grieving the loss, you feel alone with their emotions. You think that no one else can understand your sorrow for what you have lost. Or maybe you yourself do not want to burden others with their grief and pain. This misconception often leads to isolation and depression, causing keep their suffering deep inside themselves.

Hiding his pain, you're not deceiving others, and myself. This nobody has helped to reduce the sensation of pain from the loss. It will be easier to move a mountain, if you know what grief - is a psychological process that takes place in their specific laws. And you should obey these laws, rather than resist them.

Five main stages of grief

Depending on the cause you a sense of grief and loss, grief may pass through different stages:

1. Denial. "That can not be! "" It is simply impossible for this to occur is with me! "When we reported a loss overtaken us, we refuse to believe. "It's some kind of mistake! "At first, not even tears. Later, we refuse to take a loss and the void: continue to put on the table plate for the deceased or departed from her husband's family, or see in the crowd flashed his jacket child who actually is far from us.
2. Anger. "Why me?! "" This is so unfair! "The great desire to resist fate. Sometimes people even feel anger towards the deceased, accusing him of leaving: "It left me! "If a person has died from the disease - anger often extends to the doctors," Why not do everything you need to save? "
3. Negotiations. "Bargaining" often occurs before the loss. Someone is trying to negotiate with her husband, who said about leaving; someone tries to make a deal with God, to prevent the loss of a loved one, lying in bed dying. "I will do anything to bring back ... save ... find ...! "- We think that our hot requests and vows can avert a looming disaster.
4. Depression. "The meaning of life is no more." A person experiencing an overwhelming sense of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self-pity. We are beginning to mourn the loss and unfulfilled hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Grieving people like falls into a stupor and lose interest in everything. Often they come to mind thoughts of suicide. Deep depression causes serious health problems and often requires professional treatment.
5. Humility adoption. After some time, the person resigns himself to the loss. Everyone is going on in different ways: someone needs a few months, someone - a few years. Grieving people fully aware of and accept their loss. He starts to look for something that will help him get through the pain of loss, fill the void and give him comfort and healing.

These steps do not have a particular priority; They can be in any order, some of the stages of mourning leave, and then come back again. But the final step is always getting acceptance, when you finally let go of the pain and move on.

How to cope with the pain?

It is necessary to go through their grief, and then let it go and move on in life. Do you want to learn how to cope with depression after the loss of a man who wants to deal with it? Here are six steps that you need to do to get through the grief and overtaken you find your way to healing:

• Determine the source of the pain

Sometimes it is too obvious - if you're going through a divorce or lost a loved one. In other cases, you may be experiencing grief, not knowing what makes you feel the loss. Analyze all the changes that have occurred in recent years in your life, and allow yourself to experience the feelings that appear at the memory of each of the events. Try to identify the situations that cause you to feel pain or sadness.

Once you find a cause that makes you heavy emotions, recognize its existence for itself. If you pretend that everything is in order, trying to suppress your feelings, over time these feelings are still manifest in unhealthy ways. They will turn into anxiety, anger, depression.

• Allow yourself to cry

When you feel that your eyes "wet spot" - give yourself a good cry. Tears for our body - like a valve that allows the exit of sadness, anxiety, frustration, and does not allow the accumulated stress. Tears help to get rid of stress hormones and harmful toxins that have emerged from the effects of stress. Those who do not allow themselves to cry in sorrow and grief, make their "contribution" to the accumulation of stress hormones and the weakening of their immune system, which may even lead to serious illness. Psychologists have long known that crying is an important part of the confrontation grief and healing from him.

• Talk about your concerns

Some people always feel the need to share with others their thoughts and emotions. Others - on the contrary, very secretive. This, in general, is a private matter. But not in the case when the person does not know how to cope with the loss. Talk to someone about your problem (especially with those who trust implicitly) promotes self-confidence and a more rapid healing through emotional openness. This conversation helps to discuss issues that may be too difficult or painful for you alone, without the friendly support.

• Pay more attention

If you are experiencing grief and loss, it reduces not only your mood. Your energy level drops significantly. You can experience not only emotional but also physical pain. You will overcome anxiety, headache, muscle aches. Now is not the time to push yourself to comply with its normal schedule of classes or even give yourself the extra load. Instead, give yourself a break. Treat yourself to afford to do anything you ask and what might comfort you. Go for a long walk or soak in the tub. Go for a massage. Listen to your favorite music. Watch a funny movie. Eat something delicious. And most importantly - how to give yourself to sleep.

When you feel that sadness overpowers you - try to stay away from alcohol. Alcohol will make you feel only worse. Also, limit television viewing and in any case do not look melodramas with a sad ending. And yet - avoid isolation. Now you need to spend more time with family and friends. Even if they are just being next to you, you will feel a noticeable relief.

• Focus on gratitude

Of course, it is hard to think of something else, when grief knocked on your door. But in spite of your loss in your life, and there were a lot of good. Remind yourself of this. To make this more convincing for you to list all the good things in your life, writing it down on paper. And try to find for itself something positive even in your difficult situation today.

If children are left to study in another city, and without them your empty house looked like a ruined nest - think about what your children were a few of those who wanted to go to a good university, and who really could do it. Look forward to the fact that in the future they will become good specialists with demand in your town specialty. Imagine how many happy moments waiting for you to meet with them when they come home for the holidays!

If the dead person dear to you - write down all of the best memories of him. Thank fate for the fact that he was there for you. If your loved one has died from a serious illness - let's any consolation that his suffering is over.

If you are going through a divorce - you can think of in the first place that you will now be spared the painful moments of your life together, which eventually led to the destruction of the family. And the resulting freedom will allow you to give yourself a lot more attention. Also, now before you open the way for a new relationship. Who knows, maybe that new love will make you really happy!

Grief and pain, it seems to us, is able to penetrate all aspects of our lives, destroying its usual course, and we completely forget about all the good that still surrounds us. Maybe at first you can not bring myself to feel grateful to life for what she continues. But still try to ignore all the positive things going on around you. And there, look, and positive emotions will gradually return.

• be patient

You already know that the grief - this particular process. Depending on the cause of your grief and loss, you have to go through various stages before they get your healing. Knowing the laws of your emotions, you can better understand how to cope with the loss you have suffered. Allow yourself to fully experience all the emotions associated with your grief, and let you help to realize that with the time they leave.

The sense of loss and grief are temporary, even if you feel forever stuck in painful experiences. We all end up healing and find further ways to move on our life. That's how the people. When we say that you, too, recovered from his grief and be able to live on - it does not mean that you forget about their losses. Of course not! We have in mind that you will be able to move on, you will learn to enjoy all the good things in your life. Despite the severity of your loss today.

If you mourn the great loss in your life - we were glad to support you, learn how to cope with grief. And if you know someone who is now caught up with the loss - refer to him with words of love and support!

We recommend to check out how to survive the death of a loved one

How do affirmations for weight loss

Contents:

• Little-known facts about weight loss
• When the subconscious mind comes into effect
• How do affirmations for weight loss
• How to achieve that affirmations work most efficiently

How many times have you said to yourself: "I want to lose weight. I want to look better and feel more confident. I want to have a beautiful, slender body! "Like most people who are trying to lose those extra volumes, you may run, at least one of the major obstacles to weight loss:

1. You can not stick to the desired mode;
2. You hate exercise;
3. You are constantly experiencing debilitating hunger;
4. You lose weight, and then it comes back.

In this article, we'll show you an effective method of weight loss - weight loss affirmations. This method uses a hidden subconscious techniques, to provide a guaranteed success. This method can be used alone or in combination with any diet or weight loss programs; you safely and quickly will get rid of their problems.

Little-known facts about weight loss

Even the best of the program, through which many can achieve your ideal weight, give a chance to less than one in twenty, that you hold this weight for a year. The key to success of the program for weight loss should be the search, discovery and calibration of all ulterior motives and resources in your subconscious. The reason that the majority of weight loss programs provide a temporary success, it is what they are trying to solve the problem of the weight on the outside (ie, acting on the body), rather than to deal with it from the inside (acting through the subconscious).

We will try to explain to you the statement. From birth, we develop an intense relationship between comfort, interaction with family and food. Eating becomes something much more meaningful than just a process of saturation - this acceptance, warmth and love. Thus, we take food for several reasons, not just because hungry. Often we eat in company with friends, or because bored or sad, or we worry and try to escape, or because we want to reward yourself with something tasty.

When the subconscious mind comes into effect

Our desires, emotions and motivations are in our subconscious. It is the center of our "I". Moreover, the subconscious mind is so powerful that for us is practically impossible deliberately to do what our subconscious, we do not allow it! Try, for example, ask someone that he waved his hand right in front of your eyes, and make yourself at the same time not to blink. You are almost doomed to failure! Your subconscious tells you to protect delicate eyeball from the threat of the risk of injury and you're sure to cover up his eyes, and even recoil.

Likewise, the subconscious mind is constantly sabotaging all the efforts of our consciousness cause the body to lose weight. The question arises whether we can change the program my subconscious? Can we find a way to make it work for us, not against us in the struggle for harmony? Fortunately, yes. And one of the most powerful ways - to do so by resorting to affirmations for weight loss.

How do affirmations for weight loss

The basis of this method are specially selected statements that are able to penetrate the subconscious and thus adjust your motives and emotions. The more you repeat these statements, the more they become your inner "guidance system". They will change your self-esteem, your desires and behavior, and, fortunately, your relationship to food. You will no longer be willing to old number and kinds of food, which leads you to the fullness.

All your life you acted on the "scenario", written for you by your parents, relatives and friends. It is a value system that is embedded in you from the outside. These thoughts, habits, relationships and internal beliefs of others have formed you strong installation with which you are living. That they interfere with your impulses to control their weight, even though you do and really want. These settings will continue to limit you to continue if you do not take positive steps to change them.

Almost every day in our head spinning dozens of ideas about who we are in this world, or about what our life is like, or what we might like to have; and each time our subconscious mind reacts to these thoughts. You can, for example, to think: "I want to lose weight, but I do not seem able to achieve this. I think that I have does not work, because I, no matter how hard, can not control their weight. " At the beginning of the argument it is sent to our consciousness the idea, expressing our desire to lose weight. But then it comes from the subconscious limiting beliefs that we can not do that. And this subconscious comment strengthened every time we allow ourselves to pass it through the mind, if not pronouncing it aloud. That is why so many people do not believe in themselves and feel helpless, leaving all attempts to lose weight.

It is not enough to try to achieve weight control at a conscious level, forcing himself to some food there, and some - not, becoming almost an expert on diet. Not quite as fight with each other and show remarkable strength of will, deliberately saddling themselves physical training. Durable, permanent weight control must come from within, when you are resorting to weight loss affirmations to change beliefs and build up in your subconscious image of the new body.

How to achieve that affirmations work most efficiently

The greatest effect of the affirmation you get if you will be in a relaxed state. Relaxing your mind, you get direct access to the subconscious. We recommend doing this on a daily basis for a few weeks (or as much as you need to achieve and maintain an ideal weight).

The best time for affirmations - This morning, when you are awake, or in the evening before bedtime. At this time, you can get the easiest "login password" in your subconscious. If you repeat affirmations for weight loss on a regular basis, they will strengthen your determination and willpower, so you can free yourself from unnecessary kilograms. This method of mental reprogramming works directly with your habit to speak in the mind with itself (the so-called "internal dialogue"), blocking and eliminating your negative self-image.

Here are simple steps that will help you achieve the greatest effect on the affirmations:

1. For the best effects of affirmations, select the place and time when you will not be distracted for at least fifteen minutes.
2. Sit in bed or have a chair so that every part of your body was as comfortable as possible.
3. Start with a slow deep breath through your nose, hold your breath for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Feel the power of the body in the breath and then take care that, on the exhale it itself will begin to relax.
4. Do not be distracted any more on that. Focus on their feelings and try to relax completely.
5. Take another deep breath in through your nose, filling the lungs as you exhale, try to completely relax.
6. Relax the muscles of the face and jaw, unclench your teeth.
7. Continuing to, but not as deep breathing, feel the relaxation spreading throughout your body. Every muscle becomes relaxed, and you - completely quiet.
8. Mentally start speaking affirmations:

• I relaxed
• I am very calm
• I feel myself good
• My body naturally burns unwanted fat
• I have a full opportunity to control your weight
• My hunger is easily assuaged small amount of food
• My body gets all the nutrients it needs
• My body dissolves excess fat tissue, which no longer needs
• I am strong and healthy
• I see myself slim, beautiful and very attractive
• I'm easy to eat
• I am calm and relaxed when I eat
• I have great self-control to not break the diet
• I have a strong desire to stick to a healthy diet
• I'm pleased with myself
• My body is strong and healthy
• I'm good care of your body
• I exercise regularly
• I love me
• I have control over my ideal weight
• I renounce junk food
• I eat only healthy food
• I obtain and maintain your ideal weight

Affirmations for weight loss will help change your internal predictions about yourself, your body and diet. Most diets do not work because they make you do something that your subconscious mind does not want to do. Only by force of will, you should stay away from foods that you like and feel deprived, renouncing them. Your subconscious mind will interpret this as an attempt to starve the body hunger.

But with the affirmations you can gradually change your desires and tastes. Thus, moving to a proper diet, you will feel satisfied, and therefore easy to reach your goal. Your subconscious mind will now work in unison with the mind, and the more it does not cause you to overeat.

We recommend that read: Affirmations of love

Guilt - the voice of conscience or spiritual masochism?

Contents:

• Why do we feel guilty
• How to get rid of the guilt

There is hardly a man who never in his life did not feel a sense of guilt. But what it actually is? If you take the Dictionary Ozhegova, there is given the following interpretation of the word "wine":

1. Reason, the source of something negative;
2. A misdemeanor crime.

We will not consider a situation where the offense committed, the error or a crime requiring repentance and atonement, redress, remedy the situation. Guilt is a signal that a person has done something disgraceful. It helps to repent and possibly fix the incident. In this sense it is very useful feeling, like the voice of conscience, which helps a person to change, to become better. With such a feeling of guilt all clear, let's not talk about it right now. We turn to the state when people cut themselves some obscure others and himself suffering. What could be the cause of these feelings?

Why do we feel guilty?

Since childhood, we used to hear senior call to conscience, when it had exhausted all teaching methods. "Aren `t you ashamed? "- Criticized both at home and at school. And indeed ashamed that had not five, and four, that classmate jumped a few centimeters farther than you managed. Then shame that not received the certificate with honors.

Then ashamed of her friends, because she married a very good, but a simple guy, not an oligarch. It is a shame that you live in a small apartment, not a huge cottage ... It is a shame that the child trio of English ... Gradually, it grows into a painful feeling of guilt for all and to all. "All because of me, I'm bad, I bring some unhappiness", - thinks the "guilty". Again, trying to please everyone, and again someone is unhappy husband, children, mother in law, family, boss, neighbors ...

When a person has put himself into such a state, it is very easy to manipulate. Calling in the victim a sense of guilt (perhaps not consciously), a "kith and kin" pursues its goal: to force unconditionally obey, to dictate its rules to require more attention. One of the proven and their favorite methods - comparison with those who, in the opinion of the manipulator, better than you.

For example, for both cheeks gobbling up your soup, the husband says, "Tatiana prepares with beans. It's delicious. " And that phrase is enough to have the whole day bad mood. With some skill, bordering on art, relatives can turn everything on its head: "Because of you I have a headache because you have not passed the exam!" And sometimes you may suddenly find that your benefactors you ascribe disadvantages.

Guilt easily cause and without words. There are families in which one of the relatives constantly blowing, she walks around the house with an injured look. And you have to guess what the guilty, otherwise peace in the family did not prevail. At work and at home have tried and tested method: do not speak good words, and do not squander praise. You try, perform a difficult task, and instead of a proper assessment of your work -lish discontent and new instructions. Whatever you do, it is not so.

Close people - the most sophisticated tyrants. The hardest thing to understand that you manipulate when it makes a mother. She's worried about you and thinks that you certainly should be ashamed for having failed to comply with at least one of its ten tips do not come home when it considers it necessary that married not for the person for whom, in her opinion it was necessary to go ... She presses the pity, then the conscience.

Especially difficult when the mother raised you alone, without a husband. The endless series of accusations dominate the phrase: "I could have married, but for you ..." "I could have, as a mother, ask, but ...." It turns out that the only reason you have all of its failures. You are required to comply with any of its whims. And yet, no matter how hard you try, you still - ungrateful daughter. Guilt is sometimes a substitute duty. This often happens in marriage: love is gone, and nothing binds the marriage, but the couple are living together.

There are some people who claim to life through the humiliation of others. They are specifically looking for ways to get you to dig into their own imperfection to the time to rise above you. And the guilty person easy to manage. It turns out that the blame for everything, is responsible for everything. Surrounding easily shift their responsibilities on you, and hence responsible for their execution. You can blame that not cope with all the problems; All your fault increases.

And you're go, bending under this load, to forget the desires: nothing would be desirable, if only all behind. Always think about your imperfections. You already start to enjoy this status. The constant feeling of guilt makes your life meaningful. You depend on her as a smoker - a cigarette, the patient - from medicine. You tend to exaggerate their faults. What effect will this self-flagellation?

How to get rid of guilt?

If you do not stop, then you will be an inferiority complex, loneliness and depression. And where it will lead, no one knows: the disease, heavy drinking, or something worse. Therefore we can not give in to the manipulator, not to be in complete dependence on him. We must learn to distinguish between real actions for which you need to answer the imaginary fault.

We need to take responsibility only for the fact of what you can control, change. You are responsible for the consequences of their thoughts, actions and deeds. Your right - to be treated or not treated, learn or not to learn. You decide how much you have children. Is responsible for his family, faith. But why do we need to take on the challenge of your grown children or her husband? To take on the problems of other people, you take on yourself and guilt. You can gently advise, disinterested help, but do not make decisions in place of relatives.

Guilt comes one. His eternal companion - an insult. It is an emotional experience when a person unjustly deprived of anything. How are they related? Ridiculously easy. Vanya is not praised for dinner pies Thani. He said that my mother tastier. Tanya had a feeling of guilt because of the fact that she could not cook delicious cakes. And she was mad at Vanya, because he has not praised cakes and Vanya had a feeling of guilt for what he had offended Tanya. Suffers hurt suffers blame - both suffer. How not to recall here the words of a classic: "All this would be funny if it were not so sad." Very sad because of such nonsense sometimes break up the family.

What is the sense of guilt - the voice of conscience or spiritual masochism? We use the term "masochism" in the religious sense, that was until the 19th century, psychologists have not yet given it a different meaning. At that time he meant "healing." It was believed that through the pain and cruel self-torture of the soul comes enlightenment and redemption. Perhaps, at some subconscious sense of guilt pushes the person to self-education through the heartache, called by the people "samoedstvom." Just outside the spiritual culture for the good it does not.

Human nature is another feeling, which helps to carry the moral control of the actions. It is the conscience. Linking the emotions and the mind, the voice of conscience helps to maintain the dignity and humanity in the most difficult situations. Some psychologists and psychotherapists develop techniques get rid of these pesky feelings. Easy amputating guilt and conscience, you get a free, no one and nothing is obliged. But it's too extreme and painful condition.

There are many trails and paths that lead to healing. This visit to the theater, museum, reading good books, meeting interesting people, travel. Maybe we should change jobs, find something for everyone. It is best to treat nature: good just to walk in the fresh air or to work in the garden. Sport activities also help to refresh the mind and think positively.

"Why look for the causes of their errors, to re-stuck feeling guilty? "- With regret, you exclaim. And if you find in your heart the love that forgives and understands? Sincerely wishing to establish a good relationship, you will not be offended by trifles and can simply and easily tell your loved ones that you do not like. Love will save you from the wrath and indignation, sorrow and sadness, jealousy, and other passions.

And you will not be sensitive to her husband's remark about the same borscht. Rather, a smile of his inability to make a compliment. Mom will be glad to see you confident and calm. Chief, scolded you on the planning meeting, not wait tears and guilty look. You fix all that is required, without resentment and mental agony. And no guilt - it is no longer disturb you ever!

Treatment of acute bronchitis

Contents:

• Symptoms
• Drug treatment of acute bronchitis
• Treatment for bronchitis traditional methods
• Treatment of acute bronchitis in children

Acute bronchitis - an inflammation of the bronchi, occurring in the first place because of the ingestion of infection or virus.

Less common cause may be allergic or chemical factors, even a fungal infection.

If too cold, wet feet, the probability of the disease will increase significantly. That is why the most ill in autumn and spring. Predisposed to acute bronchitis people with chronic nasal infections, such as sinusitis, rhinitis, sinusitis. Very often the flu, acute respiratory infections, whooping cough, measles, bronchitis occurs. The appearance of the disease contributes to alcohol consumption and smoking. Also, the development of acute bronchitis can cause irritant action of essential oils, toxic gases and dust.
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Symptoms

Acute bronchitis does not develop immediately. First, there are early signs that go into a more complex form, if time does not begin treatment.

1. First, runny nose, hoarseness in the voice, throat starts to tickle. Chest appears mild aching.
2. Then there is a general malaise, sore back muscles, weakness.
3. The next stage - a rise in body temperature.
4. A sure sign of the disease is developing a cough. As a rule, initially dry, painful. Because of bronchospasm cough becomes paroxysmal.
5. After 2 - 3 days, when the patient coughs, phlegm starts to move away, the mucosa with an admixture of pus. Now cough becomes less painful. It begins the path to recovery.
6. With prolonged paroxysmal cough begins dizziness and headache.

Cough - a protective function of the body, it helps cleanse the bronchi by mucus, sputum.   During the illness of accumulated mucus in the bronchi, which irritates the mucous membranes of the trachea, larynx and bronchi. At the moment of irritation of the mucous membrane mucus causes severe breath and then exhale jerky. At the beginning of the exhalation glottis is closed, so in the bronchi dramatically increases air pressure and at the time of expiration, this gap is opened with force.

The clinical picture of acute bronchitis has three phases:

1. Midst
2. Intoxication
3. Resolution

The first phase - the height of the disease. During this period, growing clinical signs: dry cough, runny nose, fever, headache, and weakness.

The second phase - intoxication, poisoning the body begins when waste products of the causative agent (bacteria, virus), as well as toxins produced by the body of the patient. During this period, it begins to cough up phlegm.

The third phase - the resolution of the disease. In this phase of recovering the function of the respiratory tract.

The disease can be mild, moderate and severe. All depends on the resistance of the organism and the activity of the causative agent (microorganisms).

The diagnosis of "acute bronchitis" set, based on common symptoms described above. However, only when there is no change in the light detected radiologically. Therefore appointed physician in this case an X-ray light allows to exclude other serious diseases. For example, pneumonia, tuberculosis, etc.

By the end of the 1st week of illness symptoms begin to fade. However, the cough persists longer, up to 10 - 14 days. Finally the air-conducting ways and bronchial mucosa are cleaned after 2 - 3 weeks.

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Drug treatment of acute bronchitis

Treatment of acute bronchitis complex and is aimed at:

• the fight against the virus infection;
• restoring patency of the bronchi;
• Addressing the negative influencing factors (domestic and industrial);
• a full course of treatment to prevent the transition of the disease into a chronic form.

Treatment medicines prescribed to patients, depending on the symptoms of the disease. This makes the only doctor. Appointed antipyretics, anti-inflammatories and painkillers. If both amazed nasopharynx and throat are very useful aerosol formulations, such as kameton, ingalipt, kamfomen; Splashing 3 - 4 times per day. They contain streptocid, menthol, norsulfazol, camphor, etc. Aerosol preparations have anti-inflammatory, antiseptic and mestnoobezbalivayuschee action.

It is necessary to take vitamins A, B, C, 3 times per day.

If symptomatic therapy is ineffective, there is a purulent sputum, the prescribed antibiotics. This tetracycline Biseptol, semisynthetic penicillins, etc. They affect the bacterial flora. Also, to suppress microbial used sulfonamides. Alternatively, they are administered in combination with vitamins A, B, and C (1 mg. To 100 thousand. U antibiotic). Antibiotics in this case is the prevention of pneumonia.

Antibiotics do not completely eliminate bronchospasm and restore patency of the bronchi. For this reason, if necessary, prescribers that extend bronchi. This can be ephedrine, aminophylline, etc. izadrin.

If the inflammatory process and can not be prolonged antibiotic therapy, it is recommended to combine it with the introduction of aerosol prodigiozan (using ultrasonic nebulizer). Assign 4 inhalation, 2 times a week for one inhalation using 1 mg. drug.

For medical rehabilitation use warm alkaline inhalations with sea salt or mineral water, for example, "Essentuki" or "Borjomi".

For the general strengthening of the organism and its hardening recommend ultraviolet irradiation, ionotherapy and electrophoresis on the chest. It is used a special method of physical therapy, it consists of breathing exercises and sound, special training. A stay in a sanatorium or rehabilitation of country offices is very conducive to the recovery of patients.

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Treatment for bronchitis traditional methods

1. At the beginning of the disease is very good effect gives mustard, banks, hot foot bath.
2. Cough soften alkaline inhalation, excessive drinking of tea with lemon, hot milk with soda or "Borjomi".
3. Gargle with warm water and baking soda solution, iodine, salt.
4. Very useful cranberry juice. Boil water, pour off and cranberries. A few minutes later, when the berries swell, crush them. This Morse all the vitamins remain.
5. Use herbs and fees, which have antipyretic, diaphoretic and expectorant.
6. Drink vitamin charges.

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Treatment of acute bronchitis in children

Dear parents, please note that acute bronchitis in some cases can give complications and develop into pneumonia or bronchiolitis. There are certain signs pointing to an unfavorable course of the disease, when you should contact your doctor:

• Consistently high temperatures above 38 degrees.
• The general condition of the child severe, lasting more than 3-4 days.
• Shortness of breath at the kid: 60 breaths per minute in infants under 2 months, 50 breaths per minute in children from 3 months to a year and 40 breaths per minute in children up to 3 years.
• With inspiration drawn much skin on the intercostal spaces

In these cases, the child should be immediately hospitalized.

Addiction is invincible: myths and reality painful dependence

Contents:

• The drug is not harmless
• How to destroy drugs
• Drugs in the past - a reality?
• Marijuana: smoking or non-smoking?
• Prevention and promotion - a weapon against drugs

On the problem of drug addiction can talk endlessly, referring to different aspects of this disease, an unhealthy desire, criminal activity. Everything depends on the approach and point of view on a very complex subject. However, important thing: every year it becomes more and more addicts. The worst thing is that it is mostly young people, often teenagers do not suspect what awaits them in a month or two after the first joy-pills or injections.

It is believed that most involved in drug addiction, children from dysfunctional families, marginalized youth, already has criminal experience, or adults who have experienced severe shock and break morale.

However, this view is only partly true. Drug addiction does not choose who to ney.Otprysk successful top manager or a difficult adolescent single mothers. Before the first dose equal to all. It does not really matter, "grass" or it was just "gerych." Irreversible processes in the brain begin almost instantly. Question one: how much time will pass from the first dose before the first withdrawal. Is it possible to get rid?

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The drug is not harmless

if drugs are divided into several categories. And in virtually every country has its own definition of prohibited and allowed to use drugs. In Russia, as in other CIS countries, the spread of cannabis - a criminal offense, not to mention the cannabis and other, more powerful drugs derived from opium.

At the same time smoking marijuana in the Netherlands it became part of the national culture. And Holland is not the only one. A number of countries in Europe, North and South America, Australia have legislation reservations concerning marijuana.

However, almost all over the world are united in their opinion with respect to opiates - a whole group of drugs derived from the opium poppy. He also serves as a raw material for drugs: morphine, known to all for many years was a member of painkillers. Now replaced by non-addictive derivatives: morphine, codeine, papaverine, and others. But in the capable hands of a cure for headaches is able to turn into a drug.

Therefore, the list of prohibited and seemingly innocent drugs, the treatment of which is limited, is growing every year. This whole war traditional pharmacists and "black" genii, constantly deducing new formulas.

A similar situation and with psychotropic drugs. They have become reliable allies of drug traffickers. There are chemicals that break with the first use of the right connections in the brain, and the man almost immediately sits down to "wheel."

The most controversial drug considered to be a mixture of tobacco, the fight against which all is more like a war with windmills. While officials are making another malicious formula in the list of banned substances, the alchemists of our time creating a new one. Alas, it is possible to punish the very few, and in any case the punishment is much more humane than the flour on the fire medieval gold producers of mercury. And they are not collected and maimed lives.

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How to destroy drugs

Modern classification of dubious means of gaining buzz in Russia and CIS countries looks as follows:

• categorically banned substances, which include opioids (mainly heroin), cannabis and psychotropic substances;
• narcotic drugs and psychotropics, the circulation of which is restricted and controlled by the relevant authorities;
• psychotropic drugs, whose turnover is also limited;
• substances used in pharmaceutical manufacturing.

This is speaking the language of bureaucrats. Each of the groups of drugs - a time bomb. The object of the defeat - the human brain. In the role of clockwork - the type of drug, the duration and scope of its use. But the result is almost always the same - an explosion. And death. Sometimes fast. Sometimes long and painful. It all depends on the strength of the body a drug addict, family involvement, are constantly struggling with the terrible disease that has affected a loved one. Sometimes the agony lasts for several decades.

But can we call it the existence of a normal life? The unmistakable answer to give the eyes a drug addict, not even mutilated black saucer pupil dilation. If people find the strength to give a dose, it is always with him, in his mind. He knows exactly what awaits him after the promised injection, inhaling or tablets. And forget about this feeling can never, even for a minute.

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Drugs in the past - a reality?

The media occasionally slip optimistic stories about cured, such as heroin addiction - one of the heaviest. But these are isolated cases, and mind, consciousness, perception of the world, one crippled, never be the same. It would not be so bright shining sun, as it was "before". Do not be so fervently pounding rain as it was "before". Do not be so contagious laugh child as "before". Everything will be different, and will be seen through the film negatives experienced, absorbing light and a sense of the joy of life.

Otherwise, why after prolonged treatment, years later, there are failures and drug addiction again loudly declares itself? The whole life of a drug addict ensued - a struggle with himself. It is important that a number of people were loving, ready to support and not to rebuke, in time to lend a hand and help to give up "call a friend".

And who is this one? In the language of the thieves and the police - "huckster." Seller "fool", as are called drugs. Underling in a huge mechanism of criminal business, penetrated into all spheres of society: from the bottom to the marginal successful leaders.

And if disadvantaged children caught in bad company and trying to keep up with their peers, dutifully draw suffocating vapors toxic glue "Moment", the "golden youth" glamorous track beleyshego inhales cocaine. But as a boy with dark wet basement majeure, blinded by the lights of a nightclub, he begins his journey to nowhere. Of course, if there's no will of those who will be able to stop. Just can you?

Discontinuing the drug problem lies not primarily in the physical and psychological dependence. Every drug has an effect on the production of serotonin, which is often called the hormone of joy or happiness, that's not quite true, but the bottom line reflects. Contact with the blood of this just a neurotransmitter causes pleasurable sensations of pleasure, good mood, positive thoughts and paints the world in bright tones of optimism. Another victim of drugs - dopamine, which has similar features.

Getting serotonin and dopamine with the drug, the body ceases to produce their own, which, strictly speaking, lead to addiction. Until now invented an antidote that can once and for all force the addict to forget the moments of happiness experienced during the first period of drug use when the euphoria extraordinary rise and delight - the main sensation.

But is not given to a person suffering from drug addiction, to find a worthy equivalent to the removal of withdrawal symptoms - symptoms of physical dependence on the drug. "Breaking" is inevitable in the cessation of forbidden pleasures source. The hardest survive the abolition of the drug heroin addicts. They are concerned about the constant availability of spare dose.

However, and cheaper drugs, usually homemade origin, place of "production" can be any food, causes severe withdrawal symptoms. Sometimes breaking lasts up to six months! Completely remove the pain is almost impossible, even with replacement therapy. As it is impossible to return at least glimpses of the joys of life. It has to deal with the description of their condition addict receiving treatment: a sense of doormat in a public toilet, dirty, smelly, useless.

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Marijuana: smoking or non-smoking?

If the names of hard drugs such as heroin, "screw", "Shirky" or cocaine itself sounds ominous, the "shalakury" as they call themselves smokers of marijuana, convinced that their innocent passion does not lead to serious consequences. However, this is one freaky misleading. At first, beginners smoke laughing confident that they can quit at any time, whenever they want, and do not notice how they become dependent.

Here it is possible to draw an analogy with alcohol or tobacco. But if the presence of these bad habits allows a person a long time to be socially adapted and useful to society, the drug, everything happens very quickly.

Here, lovers of marijuana look like a kind of intermediary, on the one hand, smoked, caught his share of buzz and live without a new dose of a month or two. However, like any other drug addict, he does not notice the moment when the month is reduced to two weeks and two weeks - to one. In many cases, smokers 'grass' end of heroin and other hard drugs. Only this time, the transition from one quality to another takes longer.

You can indefinitely to refer to the experience of countries where so-called soft drugs legalized or decriminalized. But so far nobody has been able to prove that marijuana use has beneficial effects on the human body. This addiction may not expressed so vividly and terrifyingly.

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Prevention and promotion - a weapon against drugs

Another extremely unpleasant aspect of drug use - the spread of serious diseases among drug addicts. Often, the victims are virtually incurable infection of any innocent people. Among the diseases of the palm belongs to:

• hepatitis C;
• AIDS.

On the risks posed these diseases, says a lot. The main thing - that they are incurable. The risk can be anyone. The viruses are transmitted through sexual contact and through blood. But if personal life - it really is a personal matter and people should understand that it can wait if unprotected intimacy with an unknown partner, with blood as the intermediary between the carrier and the victim of the situation is more complicated.

For example, you can completely protect the child from the fact that he accidentally prick syringe used freaky? A wild cases podsovyvaniya needles into mailboxes or podkladyvanie seat in public, alas, is not the fruit of a sick imagination, and the harsh reality ...

Effective weapon against drugs while nobody has invented. All sorts of bans, criminal liability, compulsory treatment, early death do not stop no producers along with distributors or drug addicts.

Further involvement in drug abuse can be countered only by a healthy lifestyle and promoting the dangers that pose the forbidden substance. It's a lot of work, hard work, demanding maximum return rather than performing for ticks.

We all know that a healthy lifestyle - this is good. But it takes work on a determined effort to exercise, self-discipline. It is important that this process began in the family and the child saw before my eyes a good example of their parents, who support in kindergarten and school. And then we will have the hope that our society will be more healthy in every sense of the word, and the curve of newly identified drug addicts will go down.

If a holiday every day, or whether you need to treat alcohol dependence?

Contents:

• We all just want to party!
• When can we talk about this terrible diagnosis as alcoholism?
• Psychological work with dependent personality
• How to start the healing process?

We believe that the treatment of alcohol dependence, we need not ever. But try to understand why the alcohol begins. Constant stress, boredom, incomprehension, resentment, find yourself feeling lonely and so from day to day. And so I want to party! And then there's good name is familiar sit in a cafe on the weekend, to relax and, of course, drink. Why not? After all, you can finally afford it!
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We all just want to party!

This is how the stereotype of rest, which is impossible without alcohol. And indeed, at first it helps a person think that life takes on new colors, there is a feeling of euphoria, as if the problems are solved by themselves. He was good. And of course, he will remember this way of getting new experiences and willing to resort to it again and again.
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When can we talk about this terrible diagnosis as alcoholism?

And starts working mechanism of alcohol dependence. What happens next? And then alcohol becomes habitual. A mug of beer at a party, a glass of wine in the restaurant, a glass of brandy with a friend. Yes, and society support, offering live fun and easy and not think about the future. All the here and now, just do what you enjoy! That is the consequence of the fun may be the need for treatment of alcohol dependence.

What if the next holidays long time, even before the weekend is still far, and now suddenly free evening. After all, you can just sit at home, relax, take a bottle of wine ... you notice how increasing the number of alcohol required? This is a major trap addiction: to have fun, you need to constantly increase the dose. But man does not see any problems for yourself. After all, no one wants to admit that he had become dependent on alcohol.

Symptoms of alcohol dependence

The main feature of alcoholism - is the availability of traction, do not desire to drink to have fun, but simply to somehow live on.

Alcohol becomes a core value, forcing the sphere of interests of family, friends, career, and all the plans for tomorrow.

As a rule, first raised the alarm relatives. The problem according to one person becomes a problem that prevents many others live, not for nothing that there is a concept of co-dependency. The relatives of alcoholics simply have to build their lives in view of the situation. Endless conversations with addicts trying to reach his mind, treatment in specialized clinics. Here are just a narrowing of consciousness sick man (alcoholism - a chronic disease) does not see anything other than alcohol. The main desire alcoholic - to be drunk. Changing the identity of: aggression, the constant lies and apathy - the characteristics of the alcoholic. Any attempts to help are perceived as violence, invasion of privacy. Therefore, it is important the motivation of a dependent, so it must be the desire to get rid of alcohol voluntary slavery.

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Psychological work with dependent personality

Firstly, it should be understood that the dependence is the physical and psychological components. Getting rid of the alcohol dependence - is a complex multilevel process. Treat Alcoholism starts with cleansing the body of alcoholic poison.

But if the physical addiction can be managed with medication, the psychological dependence on the person will require changes with regard to his personality. It requires a conscious desire to change and the forces for the implementation of its decision. He literally have to learn to live again. Step by step walk to freedom from alcohol. To do this will need to find new values, change habits and, finally, to answer the question: why should I drink? What is it gives me a drink?
You will need to learn to be honest, especially with yourself.

What are the psychological causes of addiction?

As a rule, tend to form depending on people who can not cope with their feelings and emotions. Psychological trauma in childhood, lack of love, lack of confidence, low stress tolerance - these are the psychological conditions that can cause alcoholism.

Dependency becomes a kind of psychological protection, which allows you to silence the unpleasant and painful inner experiences. Rather than sort out their problems and learn to deal with them, one pretends that any problems do not exist. It creates the illusion of an easy life. Here are just a relationship eventually turns into more of a problem than all those on whom people sought to escape. Shattered relationships, health problems, feelings of guilt and lack of prospects for the future - that brings with alcoholism.

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How to start the healing process?

The main thing that needs to be done to get rid of dependence - is to see the life without alcohol. What will it be? It will be different, it is not necessary to idealize it. In life there is a place difficulties, bad mood, setbacks and losses, as well as the joy and pleasure. And one of the greatest pleasures - is to look at all the events with sober senses, make informed decisions, to build their lives. To see all the diversity and beauty of existence!

After all, the main value of life - is freedom. And so foolish to voluntarily give it up.
Each new day - a little holiday. And a man is always a choice: a holiday of freedom or dependence?

Getting rid of nicotine addiction

Contents:

• Three stages of the development of this relationship
• Treatment of nicotine dependence
• Types of medical therapy

The problem of nicotine addiction the most urgent today. Smoke endangers the health of the smoker and his inner circle. According to statistics, between the ages of 25-65 years old, smokers are 18% women and 40% men. In the men puffed day from 10 to 20 cigarettes, and women - about 10 cigarettes. The frequency of cigarettes smoked increases with age and seniority.

This shows counter nicotine addiction. Treatment and disposal of tobacco dependence takes a lot of time and effort. According to doctors, smoking - a habit, and that it was easier to handle, the smoker must be for some time to take nicotine in whatever form, other than cigarettes: patch, chewing gum.

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Three stages of the development of this relationship

1. Initial - smoking is systematic. At this stage, there is a psychological dependence;
2. Chronic - develops physical dependence;
3. later - it is observed as a psychological and physical dependence.

In the first stage, the number of cigarettes smoked growing. Smokers improves health, increases efficiency, he feels comfortable. The duration of this stage lasts for 3-5 years. At the next stage, the number of cigarettes smoked becomes stable. The desire to smoke when there is any change in the situation of psychological or physical stress. This stage of development lasts from 6 to 15 years. At the last stage of smoking becomes automatic and gratuitous action.

The feeling of comfort is missing. There is a constant headache, deteriorating memory, decreased appetite. There is a pathology of the respiratory and cardiovascular system. These steps every smoker develops individually and depend on different factors: the first use, the quality of the tobacco, human health.
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Treatment of nicotine dependence

I hope that many of you do not smoke and do not intend to start or have already dropped. But if you are still addicted to nicotine, you probably know that the sooner quit the habit, the better for your health and the health of people close to you. Nicotine - one of the most dangerous plant poisons. It contains about 4,000 different toxic substances. 5% are dangerous for the organism.

These are ammonia, carbon monoxide, radioactive substances, lead, arsenic, formaldehyde, hydrogen sulfide, and many other dangerous compounds. Smoking causes serious diseases such as lung cancer, chronic bronchitis and cardiovascular disease. For example, a die of lung cancer in 90% of cases of chronic bronchitis - 75%, and heart disease - in 25% of cases. Nicotine affects the blood vessels, which leads to the development of atherosclerosis and other vascular diseases.

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Types of medical therapy

Get rid of dependence helps medical therapy. The main reason due to which people continue to smoke - it's nicotine dependence. The dependence is expressed in the desire to smoke, even realizing the full implications of this activity for health. For the treatment of addiction, various kinds of therapy.

• effective treatment of dependence on nicotine - nicotine replacement therapy. The bottom line is to facilitate the removal and destruction according to the mind of the smoker logical link between cigarette smoking and pleasure. It is the most advanced method in the treatment of tobacco dependence and based on the reception of pure nicotine, with a gradual reduction in the dose to 0. received nicotine thus absorbed more slowly compared with a cigarette. The essence of this method is to help every smoker to get rid of nicotine addiction in view of its characteristics and lifestyle.
• aversionnaya therapy - achieved with the help of an aversion to tobacco. Use a solution of silver nitrate, tannin mouthwash or anabasine for intramuscular injections within about 10-14 days.
• symptomatic therapy - treating the symptoms of disease without affecting the underlying cause and mechanisms of its development. The aim is to alleviate the suffering of the patient. Used sleeping pills, painkillers and heart.

It is proved that the use of drugs doubles the efficiency and helps get rid of dependence.

These include as Nicorette gum Nikoderm a patch and Nikotrol in spray form. The patch is most convenient to use than a spray or chewing gum, and a much better help to quit smoking, but it takes more time for the delivery of nicotine to the body. The duration of medication is on average 2 to 3 months.

Also in the treatment of nicotine addiction may be used antidepressants .  One such drug is bupropion .  It does not contain nicotine and widely used in the treatment of nicotine addiction .  Its action is due to the influence of such brain structures that affect the formation of nicotine addiction .  This drug helps to overcome depression, decreased attention, irritability and nervousness .  Side effects include headache, dry mouth .  Efficacy of the drug is much higher than that of the patch .  Also, prescribers, causing an aversion to tobacco, to prevent a return to smoking and sedatives: valerian, motherwort or other soothing herbs .  Some drugs can cause lethargy, drowsiness, impaired memory and attention .  To improve the preparations may be administered to improve metabolism and other functions of the organism .

According to statistics, nearly 70% of people claim that they would like to quit smoking but can not do it yourself.   Therefore, all the high hopes for drug therapy. The positive effect of the therapy is based on the desire of the person to get rid of this habit, as well as support the people around him. According to statistics, men to treat women better.

Exercises to increase confidence

Contents:

• "What I can see how I'll be in the future"
• "If something would happen ... then I would have done ..."
• "Wings of confidence"
• "The most charming and attractive"
• «Search real hope"
• "Autopilot"

Self-doubt is not a terrible vice. It would seem that terrible will happen if because of it you give up in order to try his hand at a new job, or to get acquainted with the pleasant man. And what would turn out that this work - the vocation of all life, and the person - your destiny? You never know, because they were insecure and did not use his chance. If you calculate how much loss in life is due to indecision and timidity can be horrified. Doubts devour everything - money, power, love, success. There remain only regret impracticable dreams and unrealized opportunities.

But it's never too late to change. To do this, you just have to be a confident person. Using simple assertiveness training, which consists of simple exercises, you can better know yourself.

Confidence is born from the knowledge of their capabilities and of itself.

Training goal: to explore and know yourself, self improvement, increasing personal and professional growth, self-discovery and therapy, revealing its untapped potential.

The objectives of the training:

• learn to live brightly and happily, carrying their dreams come true;
• learn how to open and be aware of their habits and outlook on life;
• learn his true nature;
• with absolute confidence to feel in all situations;
• to understand how to deal with shyness and anxiety;
• confidently hold a conversation and business meetings;
• easy to conduct performance before large crowds;
• do not be afraid to take risks.

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"What I can see how I'll be in the future"

The purpose of the exercise training: learning to produce an objective self-esteem themselves, learn to focus on the result you want to achieve.

This exercise should be carried out in a group. It is necessary to take a piece of paper, pencils and paint the way you see yourself. The colorful pattern is, the better. Doris important elements of your life: hobbies, hobbies, favorite pet, and so on. D. Then you need to collect all the leaves and mix well, then all share their impressions about each picture.

Using a piece of paper and pencils to draw itself again, but now in the future. Aloud need to say a kind of "protection" of the figure.

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"If something would happen ... then I would have done ..."

The purpose of the exercise training: to develop a rapid response to various conflict situations.

Exercise is carried out in the group in a circle. One person comes up with a conflict situation (for example: "If someone stole my purse on the bus ..."), and the second expresses his reaction to it (for example: "... I would start to cry, to call the police").
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"Wings of confidence"

The purpose of the training exercise: to discover new energy opportunities.

It should be comfortable to sit or lie down and deliberately cause a feeling that you associate with confidence. To do this, dig in the memory, recall and relive some situations in which you feel very confident. Usually in such cases, there is a feeling that behind the wings. The man straightens his back, straightens his shoulders and looking confidently into the eyes of others. This increases the control of the situation and improves coordination of movements. you are absolutely confident person.
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"The most charming and attractive"

The purpose of the training exercise: to learn to love yourself and liberating.

Exercise for women's terrific, but it is very effective. Everyone needs to take a small mirror. All participants of the training necessary to stand in a circle. Initially, all recite to each other at least three compliment. Then each participant tells the audience about his three qualities for which it is possible to love. The last quality should affect the appearance and said before the mirror.

If you did this exercise at home on a regular basis, you can get stunning results.

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«Search real hope"

The purpose of the training exercise: to assess their real possibilities.

Throughout the week, you need to pay attention to all situations where you are faced with empty dreams, and when the real hope (regardless of size).

For example:

• the day comes to you the thought that a good idea to enroll in a sports club or jogging, then you are distracted and forget about it;
• getting up at midday on the scales, you are thinking that it's time to lose weight, and at dinner time give up the pie;
• your friend is constantly tells everyone what the car wants to buy, without having the means and doing nothing to change that;
• girlfriend says he wants to quit now as 5 years, but nothing is not undertaking;
• every day you think about what we need to learn English or to enroll in a refresher course, and did not even commit to do any necessary phone call.

It is necessary to make a list. At the end of the week it is necessary to read it carefully and ask yourself the following questions:

1. What a feeling to me are people who live in empty dreams?
2. What is the response obtained from the surrounding people who use real hope?
3. Focus on what people in the first and second situation?
4. What are my expectations real and which are empty?

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"Autopilot"

The purpose of the training exercise: to understand their real aspirations and increase self-confidence.

Each participant of the training should reflect what he would like to be: how to behave, how to dress, what attitude should be to themselves and others, the environment in which spin and so on. D. Taking into account all this, you need to create a consistent program for their own " autopilot. " It should be written according to a certain scheme. For example: "I am confident, I'm good." After finalization of the program, each in turn, read it aloud so that others have the feeling that this man really is.

6 Using these simple exercises, you can easily discover new energy opportunities for themselves. Unsure person spends a lot of energy to fear, anxiety, resentment and anger, instead of using it to achieve the goals. Learn how to use this energy in the direction you want, life will be much easier and more fun. you will discover more and more new horizons! It should only reject all sorts of doubts and head towards the confidence that will fill your body with energy, and the heart - joy.

The family appeared stepfather?

Until a few decades ago, divorce was an extremely rare occurrence. However, to date the divorce is quite normal, and women often raise children on their own. However, life does not end after the divorce, and often a woman marries again. Stepfather in the family is not uncommon these days and surprise someone - either it is already very difficult.

However, it goes without saying that the appearance of a stranger adult in the family, in which there are children, can not pass unnoticed. Of course, there are families in which such changes take place in the family is almost painless, as they say, "without a hitch, without a hitch." However, so far no luck to all families, to be absolutely accurate - all units.

In the majority of his family in which there is a stepfather, inevitably faced with a fairly large number of a wide variety of problems and conflicts, ranging from the smallest and ending with quite serious. And, as a rule, conflicts arise primarily between stepfather and children. And there before the conflict, and a man with a woman on the doorstep.

Is it possible to prevent these conflicts? Despite the fact that a single, universal recipe perfect for any family, quite simply does not exist. However, experienced family psychologists still give a few general tips that can help smooth this difficult adjustment period for the family, bringing conflicts to a possible minimum.

In this article we will talk about how as soon as possible to eliminate any possible conflicts between the stepfather and the child, as well as help them build friendships and trust between the child and the new family member - her stepfather. It's actually really, though will have to try and make some effort. It is not necessary to hope that the situation will resolve itself, and much less demand from the child that he took the first steps towards reconciliation.

That adults have to take full responsibility for what happens in the family, because they have and experience. And wisdom is much more than a child. And besides, in any case, do not forget that it is they need these changes in life, and certainly not a child. Accordingly, your card in hand - the child is not required to adjust to you.

Dad or uncle?

The first question. That needs to be clarified from the outset - this is how the child should refer to the new family member. Often, a woman, guided by the desire as quickly as possible to accustom the child to her new husband, makes call him Dad. In some cases, the child obeyed his mother and began to call her stepfather dad practically from day one.

As a rule, such a development is typical of the two cases. Or, in the case where the child is still too small, and the word mother for him yet indisputable truth, the Pope he remembers the bad, and the moral aspects and mental anguish because of their age is concerned very little, or in the event that the child is so afraid of his mother that she does not dare to object.

And if in the first case, as a rule, specific problems in the relationship and the child's stepfather does not arise, of course, provided that the stepfather is an adult and intelligent person, capable to accept and love a child the woman he loved, in the second case the situation is much worse.

And it is not surprising - call - the Pope stranger will, but sincerely love him baby once unlikely. Yes, he will not enter into open conflict with his mother and stepfather, but here is what will happen in his soul, will remain a mystery.

Moreover - perhaps in the case if the child is not forced to call his stepfather father, such problems would not arise, as the child over time, be able to understand and accept a new member of the family, and it is very possible and truly love it. But it forced the pope naming his stepfather often causes severe contradictions and sense of protest in the child.

That is why the family psychology, based on a great experience and the results of the monitoring of such families in which there was a new man, I have a clear point of view on this issue. In no case do not force the child to anything whatsoever, and especially to ensure that the child is admitted his poor dad.

But this is what you call upon him, forcing the pope to call a complete stranger still for him human. For a child it is a strong psychological shock whose strength is such that not every adult will be able to cope with it. And what can we say about a small child? Believe me - if your child wants to fall in love with her stepfather and that he himself must sooner or later would call his dad. But of course, this is true only in relation to preschool - school children and teenagers are unlikely to make it voluntary.

It is much more reasonable that the child spoke to his stepfather's name. On the one hand, it will be much easier for a child who does not feel like a traitor to his native father. Believe me, this concept for a child is not an empty phrase - for it is a real tragedy.

A second side - an appeal on behalf of a lot easier for most of his stepfather. After all, he is now also accounts for a very, very difficult - in fact it comes in someone else's family. New habits, new schedule, a completely new way of life, a child. This is for the mother the child is an indispensable and long-familiar natural part of her life. And for a man your child - absolutely a stranger, habits, desires, demeanor is totally unknown. And the man, even the most sensitive and caring, take some time to find the child.

And in that case, if a child rejects his stepfather and strongly protests against his appearance in their lives with his mother, the man has to do is very difficult. Put yourself in his place - you're in a completely unfamiliar situation, trying to get comfortable, to be good. And all your efforts categorically rejected more. You are constantly trying what - something to blame.

And if men still do not have their children, then for your child and it does seem kind of alien creature. And it is much more difficult to be a father to your child. Of course, this does not in any way mean that the man will not be able to accept and love your child - if you really like, you can. However, do not expect that he will be a real father. And here is another, mentor and advisor to be quite capable, and most likely, over time, it will be so.

Therefore, if the appeal on behalf of suits both parties - and a child, and her stepfather, perhaps, is to stay on this version. Typically, in these cases, the man did not protest. But if he suddenly starts to insist on handling the child's "father", be sure to talk to him and explain that it is necessary to improve both - and the child, and himself.

Warn in advance!

Very often, the adults themselves create very significant prerequisites for the emergence of interpersonal conflicts between the stepfather and child. And the first mistake that is common - it is the effect of surprise. In no case do not make the child a surprise, which can be unpleasant - do not place the child with a fait accompli.

Often, a woman hiding their relationship from the child, especially if he is in a difficult adolescence, in the mistaken belief that it would be better. However, the better it will be unlikely. After all, why it is hiding the truth from a child? Because the mother suspects that perhaps the emergence of various conflicts.

But you must understand that to avoid conflicts you will not succeed in any case - sooner or later you will have to inform the child, if, of course, you plan to legalize their relationship and live together. However, all these conflicts added another problem - the strongest resentment against you for what you have hidden the truth from him.

So try to put the child aware of the alleged marriage beforehand. Although, of course, all the time, and to acquaint the child with his chosen is only necessary if your relationship is serious enough, and plans - quite accurate and certain. Otherwise, after the second - the third stop dating the child to perceive how you though - some seriously.

Be prepared for the fact that your child will be a lot of variety of issues. And almost all of them will relate primarily to himself. Do not be scared of it. And even more so in any case should not blame the child in selfishness - these questions are absolutely natural and normal. And the question may seem naive or a chur, or, on the contrary, insensitive.

For example, a child may ask whether it is -prezhnemu to go with my mother to the movies, go to the grandmother, whether he is allowed to, as before, in the morning to come to her mother in bed, and the like. And these questions are quite natural - after all the main guarantee for the child peace of mind is precisely the stability of his life. And the emergence of a new family member can not go without change. And, in addition, the child's life experience has so far yet, so for him, many quite obvious and self-evident thing is that they seem a mystery. So be prepared for the fact that you have very patiently and thoroughly answer all the questions in the child.

And try not to postpone the conversation for an indefinite period. The earlier you put fame and child in response to his questions, the more he will have time to get used to this idea and take it. So, the fewer problems you will have later.

The first meeting of his stepfather and child

Very often it happens that a woman brings her future husband home, not previously acquainted with his child. But do not forget that in the morning to find the bathroom or kitchen outside man, the child may experience a real psychological shock. It is silly to hope that the child will understand yourself.

Therefore, the first acquaintance with the child's stepfather ideally should occur where - somewhere in neutral territory - in the park, cafes, a cinema. Moreover, such meetings should be at least two - three. And only then can you invite a man to ride or to visit him. And in this case, the duration of visits should be increased gradually until the child is not fully accustomed to the stepfather.

Raising a child stepfather

Another stumbling block is the question of whether to raise the child's stepfather. Who - that says yes and he strongly believes in what his stepfather in the family is not entitled to raise a child, some say that it must be involved in the upbringing of the child.

Who is right? In fact, the right and those and others. However, all must be at the time and in the measure. Of course, a man should not begin to scold and even more so to punish the child from the first days of occurrence in his life. Thus nothing but violent protest, anger and spoiled relations make him fail.

However, completely eliminated from the educational process in any case impossible. After all, the man and the child are members of one family. So, ignore each other is unlikely to succeed. Let us remember that education - is not only reprimand the child and his punishment. Personal example, friendly advice, feasible help that child needs - all this is also part of the educational process.

By the way, very often mothers, worrying about how the relationship will develop and beloved child, and future husband, unwittingly allow the same mistake - try not for a moment leave the child alone with the stepfather. But psychologists say that such a dialogue face to face very positive effect on the development of relations between the child and his stepfather.

And it's not so surprising. In your presence, and his stepfather, and the baby constantly feel some stiffness, because they are afraid to say or do something wrong, and thus offend or upset you. Alone, they can ask each other all their questions, and the chances of finding a common language they are much higher.

And most importantly - remember that the fact that the family appeared stepfather can not spoil the relationship between mother and child.

We advise to check: Children During Divorce

Regulations for the carriage of children in the car

In our time, the machine is in almost every family. So, with the need to carry a child in the car is facing a huge number of people. And if not so long ago the carriage of children do not cause any problems, but now, fortunately, in this issue began to approach with much more responsibility. And largely because of the introduction of the new requirements of the traffic police and considerable fines for violation of rules of transportation of children.

And it is mainly about such a problem as transportation of children up to 12 years in the car. With the older children no difficulties arise, as they can be transported as well as adults. But with the kids will have to tinker. And we start the story is with child car seats.

Baby car seat

Most discussions and angry parents - drivers causing traffic police demand for the transport of children under 12 years of age, special restraints - car seats. Often drivers or by crook trying to avoid buying a child car seat. And you can almost always hear the same excuse: "to pay a fine which is cheaper than buying a car seat."

This is partly true. However, for some reason, these parents do not take into account the fact that the case is not about money, but first of all in the safety of the child. Again, one can foresee a huge number of objections, and the most frequent - the child is holding adult.

However, in order to deny it, it is possible to hold a simple mathematical calculation: if the child weighs 10 kg, and the car is moving at a speed of 50 km / h on impact or sudden stop the baby's weight increases by about 15 times. And believe me - 75 kilograms no adult hold. In addition, the very high risk that an adult can pin down your child's weight has also increased dramatically at times.

And that can happen as a result of such an emergency situation, we can only guess. At best, the child could be seriously injured, and at worst, even death. In the same case, if a child will be in the child car seat, the risk of injury is ten times lower.

Infant

For the youngest children, unfortunately, parents acquire the seat very rarely, preferring to keep the crumbs on his hands. What is fraught with such transport, mentioned above, and therefore the smallest crumbs will also need to carry only in special chairs - cradles. This car seat belts fastened, so the baby is very firmly fixed in it.

In the same case, if for some - any reason you are forced to sit in a car without child safety seat, select the safest position - transportation of infants in the car always requires special attention. Sit in the back seat located behind the driver's side, his back to the passenger door. Child holding his back - it greatly reduce the risk of injury to the child in emergency situations.

But still try to carry a child in avtolyulki. The child is in it in the supine position, and soft wide belt passing through the stomach, fixes the crumbs in the cradle. The child is in a comfortable position that does not hurt his spine, and the child is not weary in the road.

Similar avtolyulki recommended mount perpendicular to the motion of the machine or, in other words, along the rear seat. Recently, however, manufacturers of children's car seats produced more car seats for the kids than cradles. These chairs are a group 0+ and calculated on the weight of 3 to 13 kg - approximately one year of age.

In such a baby seat is located in a semi-sitting position, which if necessary can be easily placed in the supine. The child seat is fixed in a three-point or, more often, five-point harness. This chair will serve you and your child about a year until the child will grow out of it.

Almost all of these chairs have a special anatomic form and comfortable headrest. It is also very handy when the car seat for the little ones is provided with a special carrying handle, which also can hang toys to the child is not bored on the road.

Due to the fact that these car seats have a semi-circular base, the house can be used as a chaise lounge or armchair - rocking chair that will delight baby. There is also the possibility to hold the handle down and lock in this position - you get a kind of low highchair. Agree - not such a bad option. And the more expensive models of car seats for the little ones can be fitted to the chassis frame and is easily transformed into a pram.

These seats can be installed in the front seat next to the driver, a passenger in the back of LIBOR. By the way, this chair becomes simply indispensable in the event that the child's mother at the wheel, and more adults in the car there. However, no matter in what seat of the car - on the front or the back - seat is installed, it can only strengthen the counter-movement of the car, that is, back to the windshield. This requirement is due to the fact that children under the age of extremely weak the cervical vertebrae.

Children and older

The next group of children's car seats designed for children weighing between 9 and 18 kilograms. In appearance they resemble the chair above, but they can be mounted both in the direction of travel and against him.

These car seats require careful selection. First, before going to the store be sure to weigh your baby - chair should correspond to the weight of the child. Otherwise, the baby will not only inconvenient but also protect itself also becomes. By the way, the convenience of the child is also an important factor in the so-called passive safety. In that case, if the child during the trip will experience discomfort, it can almost always actively capricious. And it does not matter who is behind the wheel - mom or dad child, the driver will still be involuntarily distracted by snivelling baby.

That is why it is so important before buying put the child in the car seat. Look, there is not bent spine while the baby is conveniently located if his head is not too tight if the seat belts. Also, do not forget about the fact that children often fall asleep in the car, so the best car seats allow the transfer of the child in the supine position.

As mentioned above, the child in the car seat securely special five-point or - shaped belts. They protect the belly and chest of the baby from the typical injuries that kids usually get caught in a car accident.

However, these safety belts need to pay particularly close attention - locking buckle must be fitted with a special soft cloth lining, which is designed to protect the perineum from injury crumbs in the event of emergency braking or a collision. Especially this point is relevant for those drivers who have a male child.

Recently becoming more popular online shopping, including children's products. However, experts say that the child seat is one of those products that are better to buy it during a personal visit to the store. Firstly, the above mentioned that before buying it is desirable to put the child in the car seat and make sure that the child feels comfortable. And secondly, before you buy a car seat, make sure that it is the right size and the method of fixing it for your car.

If the seat is not secured properly, neither of which the safety of the child and can be no question. Moreover, wrong and insecure child car seat can further traumatize the child. Also, remember that you often have to pull out and attach a chair, so it must be done without - or labor.

Optional accessories

In addition to the children's car seats can buy a variety of additional accessories that will greatly facilitate the life of mother and help provide additional security crumbs. Below we will discuss some of them:

• Collar for sleep

I'm sure all parents know that children are very fast asleep in the car. And by the way have a very special collar, securely locking the neck and head crumbs during sleep. If a child falls asleep in a semi-sitting position, the head during sleep falls on his chest. And when braking under the influence of inertia of the head leans back sharply. It is very much cause damage to muscle ligaments and delicate cervical vertebrae. A collar worn for sleeping in the front, like a bib, thus firmly fixing the head of a sleeping child in a completely safe position for him.

• Cover on the baby's legs

Another good thing - this apron child. It is especially please those drivers who carefully monitor the cleanliness of the cabin. This case is exactly the same as Case Chair - he dresses in the legs and does not allow the baby to spoil the upholstery of the car.

• Table for feeding baby

Often there are special tables for sale, which are fastened to the car seat. Thing is very comfortable for long trips - you can feed the child comfortably. However, the baby is fed only during stop. In - the first, the child does not choke or obolet, and secondly, table during movement shoot recommended that in the event of an accident the plastic not to injure the child.

• Pocket on front seat

No less useful it can be a special pocket with multiple compartments, which is attached to the back of the front seat. There you can put a whole bunch of small things for a child - pencils, toys and other things. However, in fairness it should be noted that these pockets has its opponents, who say that these items are in an emergency and can injure the child.

Children over six years

Separately it is necessary to mention about the children older than 6 - 7 years. In this case, if the rules of transportation of children in the car are violated more often than with the kids. Often parents mistakenly believe that to ensure the safety of the child is enough for him to put a priest or a folded blanket or pillow, and secure a regular seat belt.

However, it is not so! Fixing a child in this way, you are putting it at greater risk than if it were not fastened. In that case, if the driver will be forced to resort to emergency braking, airbag, which is not fixed absolutely nothing, really fast under the influence of inertia significantly shifted forward. And the lower part of the child's body also will yield forward behind a pillow.

The child will slide down automatically, and hence the belt is directly on the neck of the child. Agree, it is easy to imagine what could happen in this case - the risk that a child will not receive a serious and often fatal injuries.

That is why these children who are already well able to sit on their own, but a regular seat belt properly fasten your seat is not yet possible, be transported using lifting seat. It calls this seat, "booster", and it is much cheaper than conventional child car vehicle.

This seat lifts a child to such a height that allows you to fasten it properly regular seat belts. The service life of the booster is long enough - it is suitable as a six-year old children and adolescents twelve. This can serve as a booster to the child as long as its growth will not be 150 centimeters - that is the bottom bracket specified in the rules of the road.

Buying booster, parents should pay attention to the fact that he had special constraints that are put on the seat belt webbing regular car. And establishes a booster, of course, only at the direction of the car. In principle, this type of car seat is in no way restricts the freedom of the child.

Also, parents often argue about where to place the child car seat - front seat or the back. Traffic rules do not prohibit either one or the other. So, it is only the parents decide. But do not forget that the safest place in the car - for the driver's seat. But the most dangerous - so-called place "suicide" - that the front passenger.

And in any case, do not forget about the need to disconnect the airbag, located near the place where the child car seat is fixed. And turn them off is not their own, and in the service station.

In that case, if the parents approach the issue of transportation of children responsibly and acquire the car seats, the risk that the baby is in an emergency situation on the road get this or that injury is reduced tenfold. But nothing could be more valuable than the life of a child!